


Songs for the Fallen

by GhostwithShotgun



Category: The Maze Runner (2014), The Maze Runner Series - James Dashner
Genre: Basically a bunch of one shots, Fluff and Angst, M/M, Maybe a bit of AU
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-06-10
Updated: 2015-07-13
Packaged: 2018-04-03 20:39:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 18
Words: 24,313
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4114225
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GhostwithShotgun/pseuds/GhostwithShotgun
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A collection of oneshots I'm writing based on different songs. There will probably be both AUs and Canon Universe ones. I will probably only write angst and fluff.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Quick Introduction (kinda)

**Author's Note:**

> So, the first "chapter" will only be a list of the songs I'm using. And english isn't my first language, so sorry if it sucks Dx

So yeah.... Here's the list of songs:  
1\. See You Again - Wiz Khalifa  
2\. Jet Pack Blues - Fall Out Boy  
3\. Bullet - Hollywood Undead  
4\. Mistletoe - Justin Bieber  
5\. F**kin' Perfect - P!nk  
6\. Bonfire Heart - James Blunt  
7\. Troublemaker - Olly Murs  
8\. She Looks So Perfect - 5 Seconds Of Summer  
9\. The Hammer Has Fallen - Sabaton  
10\. Love Don't Let Me Down - Chris Young  
11\. If You Only Knew - Shinedown  
12\. Nicotine - Panic! At The Disco  
13\. Angel With A Shotgun - The Cab  
14\. Disturbia - Rihanna  
15\. Just A Dream - Nelly

16\. Boom Clap - Charli XCX  
17\. One More Night - Maroon 5  
18\. I Would - One Direction  
19\. Flares - The Script  
20\. Hold Back The River - James Bay  
21\. Like I Can - Sam Smith  
22\. The Heart Wants What It Wants - Selena Gomez

I will probably add more songs every now and then ^^


	2. See You Again

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This can be read both as Newtmas and just as if they were friends.  
> Enjoy! :)

Thomas walked towards the forest in a quite quick pace. He could still hear the celebrations down at the baracks. He had told Minho that he was going to bed early, and his fellow Glader had just nodded and told him goodbye. Technically, Thomas hadn't lied. He _was_ going to bed early compared to the others, but there was something he needed to do first.

He disappeared between the trees and kept walking. He needed some peace and quiet, and he had found the perfect place in Paradise for that. It was a pretty long walk though, but it wasn't like he was complaining. The nature was so beautiful and peaceful, and the smell of the forest... He was sure it was his favorite scent ever. Not even Frypan's bacon after a long day at work smelled better.

He really liked these moment by himself in that way, but if he needed to be alone, more often than not, he wasn't in a very cheerful mood, and that was the case tonight.

Soon he could see the place he wanted to get to: a glade in the middle of the forest. Not like _the_ Glade, but a real one. Not something built by humans in the middle of a maze. This one was surrounded by maple and hawthorn, not too big (maybe just about 21 yards in diameter), and it had a pond right in the middle. Beside the pond, there was an old oak. 

Thomas went straight for the oak, and sat down with his back against it, looking down at the pond. Then he turned is gaze to the moon instead. His heart suddenly felt much heavier. He closed is eyes and rested his head against the tree with a heavy sigh.

"I know you can't hear me anymore, but right now I'm going to pretend that you do. I miss you, Newt. I miss you really shucking much. Y'know, today marks the one year anniversary of when we arrived here. A whole year, and not one day has gone by without me feeling guilty about what I did. I still haven't told Minho, and I'll keep it that way. I think it would be too much for him to handle." Thomas squeezed his eyes shut even tighter. He could practically hear Newt telling him that Minho isn't some 'bloody sissy'. He remembered the first time he heard Newt laugh. He had only heard Chuck laugh before that. Newt had had such a reassuring aura, and his laugh could calm anyone down.

"We've come really far, y'know. A lot has happened since the Maze, and it's hard to believe all of this even after all this time. We are trying to practically start humanity all over again, and so far that's mostly about trying to restore as much of our history as we can. We're still only at the vikings, so we have a lot more work to do. Everyone is trying really hard, and doing their part. We've got an order you would be proud of." Thomas smiled at the ground. Newt and his order. It was really strange, but he missed getting lectured about it.

"It would still be better if you were here, though. I try to remember as much of everything that happens around here, so I can tell you when I see you again." He sighed again, feeling both numb and sad at the same time. He wanted to see Newt again, so that was what he kept telling himself that he would. All of his memories of Newt had started to fade a bit. Now he couldn't fully recall his face anymore. Sure, Thomas remembered the vitals, like Newt's blond hair and that he had brown eyes, but no details. Not the exact jawline, just a blurry version. Not the exact shape of his nose... Nothing of that. He couldn't even remember his voice. The only things that he could still recall was the accent, and his last words. Thomas knew they would stick with him until the day he died.

'Please, Tommy. Please.'

"Well," Thomas continued with a now broken voice. "Tell Chuck, Teresa and Alby hi for me. Talk to you next year, or the next time I see you if that comes first." he finished. He put his head in his hands, and finally let himself have a well-deserved break down. Since that day, he hadn't had any time alone, busy with trying to get their society going. Now he finally let it all out, tears streaming down his face, and his whole body shaking with sobs. 

He has no idea how long he sat there, just that it was still night. He got up and slowly went back to his own barack, that he shared with a woman an her daughter, the celebrations still going strong. He slumped down on his bed and stared at the desk beside it. He could see his knife, the one that he got on his first day as a Runner. He pushed the dark thoughts that suddenly flooded his mind away.

"I will see him again," he muttered to himself. "but not yet. They still need me."

And with that, his eyes finally shut and he let sleep take him away.


	3. Jet Pack Blues

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I will base all of the chapters mostly on the chorus of the songs, because that's easiets. Of course they will be based of the other parts too, but mostly the chorus, just giving you a heads up. Especially this one is hard to base on anything else, at least to me.

"Don't do it, Tommy! Don't you bloody do it!" Newt screamed as soon as he saw what Thomas was about to do. The words ripped through his throat, he didn't care enough to hide the panicked tone in his voice. His two actual friends, the two people in the whole Glade who kept him grounded, had been gone in the Maze all day and was about to spend the night in the bloody thing, and now Thomas, like the shuckface he was, was about to enter too. Newt would be damned if he allowed that. No way in hell.

Apparently, his scream didn't affect the greenie at all as he kept running. Newt himself sped up, not giving a damn about his hurting leg. He knew it was hopless, anyone could see that, but he didn't care. He kept running, hoping that Tommy would trip over or something. But of course, his usual luck didn't change, and the doors closed right behind Thomas when Newt was just a few feet away.

He fell to his knees, all hope leaving him at once. His scream had caught the attention of a few other Gladers, and he saw Chuck and Fry making their way towards him. He put his head in his hands, planning on not talking for the rest of the night. They could do without a leader for one, single night.

He felt a hand on his shoulder, and assumed it was Fry's.  
"He went into the Maze, didn't he?" Chuck asked. Newt didn't care to answer, knowing that the kid wasn't really asking.  
"Sorry, man." Fry said simply, and Newt could tell that he really was. They silently decided to leave him alone, and  
Newt stayed on the ground.

**************

He had no idea how long he stayed there, on his knees in front of the doors, but no one disturbed him and the stars were shining in the sky when he finally stood up again. If he was going to stay up all night grieving his friends he might as well do it in his bed. He limped towards the Homestead and wished it would rain. Rain felt more fitting than the bloody perfect weather they always had here. Yes, for the first time he really wanted the rain to _pour_ down. Even thunder and lightning would feel great. The deafening sound of heavy rain on the roof of the Homestead, loud thunder, loads of lightning bolts... That was the least the Creators could do at the loss of their leader, best Runner and Tommy.

_Tommy._

Newt sighed as he slumped down on his bed. Of course the loss of his best friends had hit him hard. Anyone who said otherwise was insane. But the loss of the greenie had somehow hit him harder. He told himself that it was because he had gotten used to the thought of Alby and Minho having to sacrifice themselves to the Maze, but he hadn't ever thought of the possibility of Thomas dying just yet.  
"Bloody stupid shuckface." Newt muttered out loud.  
Thomas had been too curious and brave for his own good, and now it had led to his death. Newt was so angry with himself. He had failed at killing himself, and now he had failed at saving Tommy. He would have been able to make it if at least Tommy had survived, but now he would have to try making it on his own, and he wasn't strong enough for that. Tommy had actually given him hope he hadn't felt for a long time, and now he was _gone._

"Please, Tommy. Come home." he whispered out into the dark.

He heard the moaning of the Grievers, and rolled over with his eyes tightly shut, trying to block the world out.

**************

When he woke up the next morning, he was surprised that he had gotten any sleep at all, and groaned because he wanted more. He sat on the edge of his bed for a few minutes to collect himself, before walking over to the kitchen for some breakfast.

No one mentioned it, but he could feel the sympathetic looks from the other Gladers. He chose to ignore them. He could barely keep it together as it was, and was not going to risk having a breakdown in front of everyone. He knew he had to take a few Gladers with him to look for anything that they could bring back to bury, that was his duty as their new leader. Knowing didn't make it any easier though.

Well out in the Maze, they started to search the first corridor, in case they had stayed there. But soon he got the biggest surprise he could have gotten.

Around the left corner, came Minho and Thomas. 

Newt jogged up to them, and before his mind could catch up with his movements, he pulled Tommy into a tight hug. Thomas let out a surprised noise, but hugged him back almost as tightly. Newt felt almost dizzy. Tommy was _alive!_ And so were Minho! Happiness flooded his body. 

He was interrupted by Minho coughing loudly. Newt immediatley let go of Thomas and put on his leader-face. He let them point out where Tommy had hung Alby on the wall, before he sent them off to the Med-jacks. 

**************

Once his duties were done, Newt sat down at the Deadheads and waited for Tommy to wake up. He was so lost in thoughts, that he actually was startled when Chuck suddenly stood in front of him.  
"He's waking up." was all the boy said before running off again.

Newt stood up and limped his way to Thomas. When he arrived Thomas were sitting on his bed, actually looking _worse_ for wear than he had done earlier. Newt placed a chair in front him and sat down.

"How ya feelin', Tommy?" he asked, as that was the only thing he could think of.

"Like klunk." came the reply. Newt could see how Thomas was itching to do something, and stood up.

"Come on. I can see you bloody jumping out of your skin. Let's go for a walk." he suggested, and Thomas practically bounced off the bed. 

They ended up sitting by a log in the Deadheads. Thomas was obviously still tired, and Newt wasn't really surprised when he suddenly felt the weight of Thomas' head on his left shoulder.

"Don't you bloody dare do that to me again." Newt muttered quietly.

"Were you worried?" Tommy asked, his voice a bit muffled against Newt's shoulder.

"I already thought you were dead. I assumed you were dead. That's worse than being worried, Greenie." Newt answered, sounding more vulnerable than he was comfortable with.

"Okay." was all Thomas said, closing his eyes. Newt was a bit confused.

"Okay?" he asked.

"Okay, I won't do that to you again." Thomas explained, and Newt smiled.

"Good that." 

They went silent, and soon Thomas was snoring. Newt looked fondly at him. 

"I bloody love you, shuckface." he muttered, making sure that Tommy wouldn't hear. He decided to stay there, because he didn't want to let Thomas out of his sight ever again. He lay Thomas on the ground, careful not to wake him up, and then laid down beside him.

"Glad you came back home." he whispered into the boy's hair.


	4. Bullet

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So yeah... I don't know, but this may be triggering for some people so please have that in mind. This will be the last angsty chapter in a row, because after this I feel like writing at least one fluffy chapter ^^

Newt took a deep breath. He was sitting on the roof of the Homestead in the middle of the night, with a knife beside him. Of course, there was still a few boys awake and walking around the Glade. There always was. But the night was still the most peaceful time of the day. He knew no one would look for him here, and therefore he wouldn't be disturbed.

It had been a month since Teresa had arrived and the Creators, true to their word, hadn't sent another Greenie. Hope was slowly disappearing from him. Sure, there hadn't been much of it to begin with, but Tommy had given him a bit of it back. Now that was going to be gone soon too. 

He had figured out his feelings for Tommy two weeks after the boy's arrival, but he hadn't done anything about them for two reasons. One, he was sure Tommy didn't feel the same way. How could he, when he and Teresa had been so close right from the beginning and she was so beautiful? And two, the Maze was no place for romance. Now when Tommy was a Runner, any day could be his last and Newt wasn't going to risk having something that could be snatched away from him so quickly and leave him with such deep scars.

So here he was, sitting on a roof, about to do his second attempt at ending his own life. Everything was hopeless, there's no point in denying it. They would all die soon enough, and he was actually doing them a favor this way. With no supplies coming up from the Box they had a hard time feeding everyone, and if he died they would have one less mouth to feed. So now the only choice left was between jumping from the roof or cutting his wrists open. He would have preferred to shoot himself, but their supplies from earlier had been pretty limited too, so there was not a single gun in the whole Glade.

His last attempt to jump had not ended up well, and that had been a longer jump than this would be, and cutting would leave a prettier body, so cutting seemed like the best choice.

He collected himself enough to put the edge of the knife against his arm, his hands shaking so bloody much that he could barely do it. He took a deep breath to calm himself down enough to press the knife harder against his skin.

"Newt? What. Are. You. Doing?" a stern voice said from behind him, and Newt froze.

Thomas.

Before he could react, Tommy snatched the knife from his hand and put it down behind them while carefully sitting down. Newt squeezed his eyes shut, not ready to face the disappointment and possible anger he would see in Tommy's eyes. This was it. His last chance, and he had _ruined_ it. Tommy would never let him out of his sight again.

"Newt, please. Look at me." Thomas' voice was surprisingly soft, and that was what made Newt open his eyes. The look on Tommy's face was not at all what he had expected. Instead of disappointment, he saw eyes full of concern and kindness. He was far from prepared for that, and didn't know how to react.

"Why?" 

The question was simple, without the slightest hint of accusation. That combined with the softness in the boy's voice and his concerned eyes, broke any defences Newt might have had.

"It's all so bloody hopless. We're all going to die, one way or the other, and soon too probably. I tried once before, y'know. A few months before you came up in that box. Climbed up one of the walls of the bloody Maze and jumped right off. Alby found me and dragged me back here. I've considered trying again more than once, but always thought I would be more useful alive. This whole bloody thing with the Box though... It was the last straw. I can't continue like this, Tommy. I just can't. If my death would leave you all with one less mouth to feed, and one less body to shelter..." his voice broke, and he stopped talking. He had been staring at one spot on his right thigh, but now he turned his gaze to Tommy again, and found his friend's eyes full of sympathy and sadness.

"You know what else your death would leave us with?" Tommy asked with a slightly raspy voice. Newt shook his head.

"It would leave us with no one to keep the order up. It would leave us with no second-in-command. It would leave the Gladers with no one to really take care of them. It would leave me and Minho without our best friend. You do a lot more for us than I think you realize." Thomas said, and Newt could feel a few tears running down his cheeks. And he was not embarassed at all. He had just let Tommy into his thoughts, so Newt could not care less about letting him see him cry.

Tommy put his arms around Newt in a warm embarce, and Newt rested his forehead against his shoulder, letting all of his feelings out in the form of tears. Thomas stayed silent and traced a pattern of circles on his back. 

After a few minutes, Newt managed to dry his tears and sit up again, and that's when Tommy started speaking.

"I'm not saying that you should just go on and try to force yourself to be happy. I just want you to take one day at a time. We will get out of this mess together, I _promise_ you that. And on nights like these, when you're a danger to yourself, I want you to come to me. It doesn't matter if you need to talk or simply just don't want to be alone, I'm more than happy to oblige. You are so busy looking out for the rest of us, so I'll look out for you. And then, when we get out of here, we can try to start over. Good that?" Thomas finished, his whole being practically _glowing_ with kindness. Newt smiled and nodded.

"Good that." he said with a still unsteady voice. Tommy smiled, and Newt felt a sudden urge to kiss him. He decided to go for it, since he probably never would get a better moment than this.

Thomas stiffened when Newt's lips met his and, really, Newt hadn't expected anything else. What came as a slight shock, was when Tommy's lips suddenly started moving too. 

The kiss was sweet and innocent, and neither of them tried to deepen it. When they parted, Thomas stood up and held his hand out for Newt to take.

"Let's get down from this shuckig roof and get some sleep." he said and smiled down at Newt, who gladly took his hand. 

They quietly walked to the Deadheads, careful not to wake any of the boys up. They went straight for the place where Tommy usually slept, and he laid down on the ground under one of his blankets. He held it up, showing for Newt to join him, and Newt happily did. As soon as they got comfortable, Newt started to drift away.

"Love you, Tommy." he mumbled.

"Love you too, Newt" came the reply, and Newt barely caught it before sleep took him away.


	5. Mistletoe

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The first actual AU one! I know it's in the middle of June, but I don't really care. Personally I love Christmas-fics no matter what time of year it is.  
> Enjoy! ^^

Thomas walked around the market-place in their small town. It was Christmas Eve, so he was hardly alone. A lot of people were doing some last minute-shopping. The town was beautifully decorated in colorful lights everywhere, and the snow was falling down in big flakes. Usually, that would annoy most people, but tonight that only added to the festivity.

Thomas shoved his hands in his pockets, trying to keep them at least slightly warm, and let out a sigh. He was going to have a Christmas dinner with a few of his friends tomorrow night, and he still hadn't gotten Newt anything. It was weird, really, how Newt was is best friend and he still couldn't figure out what to get him. Minho had been easy: he had been complaining all the time from the middle of October how he had no running gear fit for winter. But Newt, that was not even another chapter, it was a whole other shucking book. He was very interested in gardening, but already had _everything_ related to that that Thomas could think of. 

That left him with art and literature. The problem was, he couldn't think of something Newt didn't have or wouldn't get from their other friends. But he didn't know where else to look for a present, so Thomas went to the book store anyway. He was so focused searching for something for Newt that he almost jumped through the roof when his phone buzzed. He pulled it out and saw that he'd gotten a text from Minho.

 **How's the gift-hunt goin? ;)**

Thomas sighed and typed his reply.

**Not at all. How can it be so shucking hard to find anything for him?!**

He went back to looking for books, but not even a minute later his phone buzzed again.

 **He just started to complain 'bout how he's finished all of his 'bloody pens' that he needs for drawing. Just a hint ;) Also, I'll be puttin up a mistletoe tonight to help you out with your crush tomorrow ;)**

Thomas both blushed and sighed with relief. His teasing was driving him up the wall, but he could always count on Minho to help him out with things like this "gift-hunt". Thank the gods for Minho. But he _totally_ didn't have a crush on Newt. No. Absolutely not. No way in hell.

**Thanks, man. I owe you. And I do not have a crush on Newt!**

**Yeah, sure. Whatever you say, Mr Doe-Eyes. Now go use my hint. See ya tomorrow.**

Thomas put the phone back in his pocket and went to look for pens good enough to give to Newt. The ones for little kids would _so_ not do. 

**************

When he finally found a huge set of pro-pens, his phone buzzed again. And this time it wasn't Minho, but Newt.

**Ignore whatever Minho wrote. You really don't need to get me anything**

Thomas smiled and went to pay for the thing. He hoped Newt knew just how useless that text was. He decided to inform him anyways, just in case.

**We've been over this every year for the past 5 years. I really do.**

He knew Newt would get him something, and he would feel so guilty if he didn't give him something in return. Besides, he couldn't think of anyone who deserved Christmas-presents as much as Newt. If Thomas could get something for Gally, he was pretty much obliged to give something to Newt.

**At least I tried, eh?**

**At least you tried. Now I've got some wrapping to do. See ya tomorrow**

**See ya, Tommy**

Thomas had just opened his door, and after reading the text, he tossed the phone on his couch. Now it was time for the fun to begin. He got all of his wrapping paper out and got to work. He was practically a wrapping-god.

***************

Thomas arrived at Minho's place at 5pm the next day with a huge bag of Christmas-presents. The bag was huge because of the size of the presents rather than the amount of them. Minho greeted him at the door with a huge smile.

"And look who it is: Thomas, aka Santa! Come in, we're just waiting for Newt." he greeted, and moved out of the way to let Thomas in.

Thomas put the presents under the tree in the living room before he greeted the rest of their friends; Teresa, Chuck, Alby, Gally and Frypan. Five minutes later, they heard a knock on the door, and Minho rushed over to open it. Newt stepped inside, his blond hair full of snow. Thomas had to take a deep breath to calm down his beating heart. He hadn't seen Newt for a week, and he was always taken aback by the angelic beauty after that amount of time.

His two friends entered the living room, Newt put his presents under the tree too, and they all sat down on the floor.

"Let's begin with opening the presents! Chuck!" Minho called, and the kid stood up. He was given the mission to hand out the presents every year. This year, the first present was the one from Minho to Gally.

When all the presents were dealt out, they all waited for someone to be the first to start opening their presents. When no one moved, Minho muttered "shuck it" and started, and after that, the only sound was the sound of them tearing at the paper. Newt was sitting next to Thomas, so close that their arms were touching, and Thomas had a hard time trying to ignore the way that made his heart flutter.

"Wow, Tommy. This is bloody perfect." Newt said, and Thomas caught a hint of awe in his voice. He threw his arms around Thomas shoulder, and Thomas knew he wouldn't be able to take much more than that tonight.

"Thanks, dude!" Minho shouted as he held up the running gear Thomas had bought him. It seemed Thomas had done a good job this year too.

**************

When they all were done, they decided it was time for food.

"Thomas, Newt, why don't you go get it?" Minho asked. Thomas looked over at Newt, who shrugged and got up. Thomas followed him, and was fine until he saw the smirk in Minho's face. Then he remembered the text about the mistletoe from yesterday, and he was not fine anymore. When he looked at the doorway to the kitchen, he did indeed see a mistletoe. He decided to not say anything about it, hoping that Newt wouldn't notice it.

Sure, he would love to kiss Newt under the mistletoe, don't get him wrong, but he didn't trust himself to be fine with continue as just friends after something like that, and he didn't want to subject Newt to that. So he walked on with a stiff back, praying to get out of this smoothly. But of course, nothing ever went as he would like it to.

Newt stopped in the doorway and, to Thomas' despair, looked up. A strange expression flew over his face, some sort of mix between a smirk and fear.  
"Looks like Minho really wants us to kiss eh, Tommy?" he said, and Thomas swallowed hard. This was it, his life was _over._

Newt slowly leaned in, and Thomas closed his eyes when their lips met. It was so much better than he could ever have imagined. Newt's lips felt warm and soft against his, and without thinking, he started moving his own lips against Newt's. They kept that up for a few seconds before Newt, to Thomas' surprise, deepened the kiss. Thomas almost pulled away out of the pure shock, but decided against that and kissed back.

They were interrupted by Minho.  
"Get a room, shuckfaces!" he shouted, and the others whistled. Of course Minho would set them up and then interrupt them.  
"We should get the food." Newt whispered in his ear, and Thomas nodded quickly and followed the taller boy. When he entered the room, Newt was leaning against the sink, with a huge smirk.  
"So, Tommy. Seems like we have a few things to talk about." he said, and Thomas was sure the color of his face was similar to the one of a tomato by now. He looked at one spot on the floor, preparing himself for the rejection. But it didn't come.

Instead he felt fingers under his chin, lifting his face up, and then Newt's lips against his again. This time, Thomas didn't hesitate and kissed back immediatley. At his response, Newt deepened the kiss again, and Thomas felt a tounge pressing against his lower lip, asking for entrance, which Thomas gladly granted. Newt tasted much better than he could ever have imagined, and the whole thing felt so _right._

Then Newt broke the kiss and pressed their foreheads together.  
"We should probably get the food." he said in a quite husky voice, and Thomas nodded.

They got the food and walked back to the living room. They placed the food on the table and sat down beside eachother. Newt's hand didn't let go of Thomas' during the whole dinner, and Thomas was sure he had never been happier. He made a mental note of remembering to thank Minho later.


	6. F**kin' Perfect

Thomas were sitting away from their small camp. He couldn't sleep, and he didn't want to wake any of the boys up. They needed all the energy they could get if they were going to be able to cross the Scorch. So there he was, sitting under his own sheet, staring at nothing and thinking. 

He had been pretty moody lately, and no one could really judge him, but he thought that this was bad timing for his brain to always think negative thoughts. He needed to focus on getting everyone to the safe haven. He almost didn't notice when Newt sat down beside him. Strange, that he could still recognize Newt when he was all wrapped up in a sheet, covering his whole body.

"What're ya thinkin about, Tommy?" Newt asked.

"Just how all of this is just a huge pile of klunk." Thomas answered, and let out a sigh.

"It still sounds funny when you use our words." Newt said with a laugh. Thomas shook his head and smiled.

"Well, it's not my fault that your vocabulary is weird." he contered, and Newt put a hand on his shoulder.

"I know. And ya know what else isn't your fault?" Newt asked, and got seriuos. Thomas could sense that they were going to have a deep talk, and prepared himself.

"No?" he said it as a question, to get Newt to explain without himself not having to say anything else.

"All of this. All the Gladers we lost, what happened to Chuck, any of the things back in the Glade, the whole Maze... None of it is your bloody fault, do ya understand me? One could see you blaming yourself from miles away, and I want you to stop that." Newt ranted, and Thomas was taken aback by just how correct Newt was. He did blame himself for all of that, at least a bit. The part about Chuck was the one that really got him.

"If I hadn't been paralyzed, maybe I would have dodged the knife in time. Maybe Chuck wouldn't have died. Maybe we could have gotten out of it, both of us. That one is _entirely_ on me." Thomas replied, saying his thoughts out loud. Newt sighed.

"WICKED wanted a death, so one of you would have died anyways. And really, this will sound cruel, but maybe that was best for him. I don't think he would've lasted long out here. Stop blaming yourself for things that aren't your fault, Tommy. Everyone makes mistakes. Yours are enormous, sure, but still." It was strange how uplifting that was to Thomas. He figured it was because rather than claiming he hadn't made mistakes, Newt said that he didn't blame him for them instead.

"I know, no one's perfect. But really, the number of deaths I've got on my hands is huge. You can't deny that. Whoever I was before the Maze... I know for sure I would hate him. I hate him now too." Thomas said and lay down on the ground. Newt grew silent, and stayed that way for a long time. It kind of worried Thomas. Whenever Newt was silent, he was thinking, and thinking could lead to anything.

"Don't say 'no one's perfect'" came a mumble finally. And it got Thomas really confused. What did Newt mean?

"What?" he asked simply, and hoped for an explaination.

"I said 'don't say no one's perfect'. Are you going deaf, Tommy?" Newt said, and the answer only frustrated Thomas.

"Why souldn't I? It's an ancient saying, and true." Thomas retorted, trying to get a better answer.

"It's not bloody true, not to me anyways." Newt said, and now Thomas actaully groaned before he could stop himself.

"No? Who's the perfect one then? Minho? 'Cause he ain't perfect, let me tell you. He's far from it." He said, trying to get as much of his frustration as possible into the words.

"I shucking know Minho ain't perfect. It's you." Newt muttered, and for once, Thomas was completely out of words. He shot up from the ground again. He must've heard wrong. 

"What?" was all he could manage, and all of the frustration was gone. Newt put his head in his hand for a while, before looking straight at Thomas.

"You bloody heard me. You're the shucking perfect one." He said, and Thomas really didn't know how to react. He was just about to talk again, when Newt stopped him.

"Don't you bloody say 'what' again. How much clearer can I make it? I said there was one person who's perfect to me, and then I said it was you. How much more do I need to explain? Teresa is one lucky shank." Newt said, and Thomas didn't need to see his face to know that he was feeling awkward. Newt stood up to walk away, when Thomas grabbed his arm. He was far from done with asking questions. He knew Newt had already said more than he had planned, but now he wasn't getting away until Thomas got some answers. It wasn't like they were in a hurry.

"Sit." he commanded, and after a short moment of hesitation Newt did just that.

"Make this quick. It's already awkward enough." was all he said, and ended the sentence with a sigh. 

"Why? Why am I 'the perfect one'?" Thomas asked, and hoped that Newt's answer would be good enough so he wouldn't have to ask more. Newt laid down on the ground on his back, and started talking.

"For one, I'm a sucker for brown hair." Newt joked, before actually answering. "You don't realize how bloody much you've helped us. You started figuring out the bloody Maze, and it doesn't matter that you got some help from WICKED and Teresa. You still did it, and you found the Griever Hole. I'm sure Minho wouldn't have survived the night out there, and Alby definitely wouldn't have. So you saved the lives of my two best friends. And that gave me hope I haven't felt, ever. I thought it was pretty damn hopless right from the beginning. Then you led us out of the Maze, and don't you dare mention how many we lost. Half of us made it. It doesn't matter what you think, you're one bloody amazing shuckface. Is that a good enough explaination for ya, Greenie?" Newt said, in a rather quick pace.

Thomas was even more out of words now. He decided to try a joke, just to ease the awkwardness a bit.

"So... What'd you mean 'Teresa's one lucky shank"? he asked, and he made sure that Newt could hear the smirk. The blond, in return, groaned loudly.

"Ya know what I bloody meant, Tommy. You've got a brain somwhere in there." he said and pointed at Thomas' head. Thomas smirked and decided that this would be the perfect time to make a move. He lifted his own sheet from his face, and then did the same to Newt's.

"Tommy, what the bloody hell are ya..." Newt was cut off by Thomas pressing his lips against his own. Newt finished the sentence in a surprised yelp, before easing into the kiss. Thomas put his hands to Newt's hair and deepened the kiss, licking at Newt's bottom lip. Newt eagerly granted him access. Newt tasted of sand and apples, which in any other circumstance would be disgusting to Thomas, but now it was perfect. He broke the kiss and pressed their foreheads together.

"What if I told you Teresa isn't the lucky shank?" he smirked, and Newt laughed. Thomas figured it had been way too long since he had heard that sound.

"Then I would do this." Newt murmured, and then yanked Thomas forward by his sheet and crashed their lips together again. Thomas smiled into the kiss. He could totally live with this.


	7. Bonfire Heart

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So yeah, I'll be basing this chapter on the movie, because I loved the bonfire. It was just perfect, and it would be great if that had been in the book (in my opinion).  
> Also, I'm running out of ideas for songs, except for the ones in the "index", so I would love if you could suggest one or two songs ^^

Newt saw Thomas sitting alone by a log, a bit away from the bonfire, and decided to join him. No Greenie should be alone on their first night, that would just be wrong. So he grabbed a jar of Gally's moonshine, a few pieces of Fry's bacon (because really, Thomas hadn't eaten since his arrival so he was probably starving) and walked over to the log and sat down beside Thomas, who looked a bit surprised. Newt handed him the bacon.

"Here, you must be starvin'" he said, but Thomas shook his head.

"Not really, no." But at that moment his stomach made a sound that Newt imagined was similar to a roaring bear. Newt raised one of his eyebrows with a smirk and forced Thomas to take the food.

"We ain't gonna bloody poison you."

Apparently, that was all the encouragement Thomas needed, and he started eating right away. Newt smiled fondly at the boy. He had guessed it when he made a run for it as soon as he was out of the Box, and now he got it confirmed. There was something special about this Greenie. He had a feeling that he would actually really like this one.

"Thanks, man." Thomas said with a content sigh, and then burped. Newt laughed. Yep, he had found a new friend. 

"So... we're trapped in a Maze?" Thomas asked, and Newt nodded. He knew Alby wasn't gonna give the kid any answers, so he might as well give him enough to keep him satisfied at least.

"Yeah. Been here three years, and every month a new Greenie arrives with no memories. Not many of 'em start with trying to run away from us though." Newt joked, and it earned him a slight smile from Tommy. 

"Aren't you trying to find your way out?" came the next question. Newt prepared himself for a _long_ night.

"'Course we are." then he pointed at a few boys behind them. "See those guys over there? They're the Runners. Every day they run out into the Maze, to try and map it. Try to find a way out." he explained, and Tommy looked _confused_. Confused of all things.

"And they still haven't found a way out? After three years?" he asked, and okay. Since he was a Greenie, it was a valid question, Newt could give him that.

"It's a lot easier said than done." he said, and then he heard the walls and held up a finger. "Listen.... D'you hear that? That's the Maze, changing. It does everynight." he said, and at least Tommy didn't look confused anymore.

"Holy..." was all he said, and Newt took a sip from his drink.

"Gotta agree with ya on that one." he said. Then, surprisingly, Thomas grew quiet for a while.

"Why are you helping me?" he finally asked, and now it was Newt's turn to be confused.

"What're you talkin' about?" he asked, and Thomas seemed to search for the right words.

"Well... You're the first one to actually answer my questions, and you brought me food. Pretty sure no one else would've done that." he explained simply. Newt knew he was correct and shrugged.

"Well, as second-in-command I need to look out for everyone. Besides, I like you Greenie. " he answered, and that seemed to be enough for Thomas. Newt took another sip of moonshine.

**************

They talked for a few hours, and Newt was starting to feel a bit tipsy. He decided that he had had enough alcohol for one night and put the jar away. Then he turned his gaze back to Thomas. The light from the fire made his brown eyes glow in a strange and beautiful color. Apparently he was staring, because Thomas looked questioning at him.

"What? Your eyes' got a beautiful color." Newt said, and was strangely not at all embarassed. He probably had a bit more booze than usual. 

"Thanks... I guess?" Thomas replied, and made Newt laugh. Tommy looked like he took that as some sort of achievement, which it probably was. Newt really didn't laugh often. 

"Your eyes aren't so bad either." Tommy added, and Newt actually blushed. He was _absolutely_ gonna blame that on the alcohol.

"Thanks, Tommy." he said, and Tommy reacted at the nickname.

"Tommy..." he said slowly, as if he was tasting the word. "That sounds... Nice. It feels like home somehow. I like it." he said with a huge smile that got Newt's stomach feeling funny. That decided it. He liked Tommy. Like... really liked him. He decided to go for it, because if it went horribly wrong he could always blame it on the alcohol tomorrow. He leant in, and pressed his lips against Thomas'. 

The Greenie stiffened, and Newt was just about to pull away, when suddenly one of Thomas' fists were clutching his shirt and the other one around his neck, pulling him closer. Newt took that as a signs that Tommy was okay with this, and put one hand on the boy's hip, and intertwined the other in his hair. Before it could go any further, tough, Newt pulled away.

"It's time to sleep." he said, and Tommy was about to protest, but then he obviously noticed the other boys making their way to their beds. Newt took his hand.

"C'mon. I'm one of the few with an actual bed around here, and I think you deserve that, as it is your first night here and everything." he said, and Tommy didn't exactly look like he was going to complain. 

Newt dragged him to the Homestead and into his room. They both crawled in underneath the blanket, and tried to find a somewhat comfortable arrangement. Sure it was a bed, but it wasn't the largest one around. Newt ended up being the big spoon, which he was more than okay with.

"G'night, Tommy." he whispered and nuzzled his nose into the crook of Tommy's neck.

"G'night, Newt." the boy replied. Soon they were both asleep.

**************

When Newt woke up the next morning, Tommy was still asleep and snoring. Loudly. Newt smiled fondly down at the boy and went to the kitchens to get them both some breakfast. He managed to get some bread and milk from Fry, and then walked back to his room. 

When he got back, Tommy was still asleep, and now he was also sprawled out over the entire bed. Newt put the food down and poked at Tommy's side.

"Hey, Sleeping Beauty. Time to get up." he said. He started eating right away, while Tommy was still rubbing his eyes.

"What time is it?" Tommy asked, and Newt swallowed a bite before answering.

"Almost too late for breakfast." he said as he finished his sandwich. "I gotta go and start working in the Gardens. Eat up, and then find Alby. He's gonna show you around a bit." he said quickly, before bending down and kissing Tommy's forehead and walking out of the room.

For the first time in a long while, he went to work happy and whistling on a tune.


	8. Troublemaker

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this is so much longer than the others, I just really enjoyed writing this chapter! ^^ I hope you enjoy reading it :)
> 
> (Ps. would still love suggestions for songs x)

"Oh _crap._ " Thomas whispered to himself. He saw Newt stepping in trhough the door, and hid behind his cup of coffee. Seeing Newt at bars and parties during the nights was one thing, but seeing him in the coffee shop where he always had his morning coffee was another. He prayed Newt wouldn't notice him.

And he was lucky. Newt was busy with what looked like an assignment. They both went to the same college, but they only had english together. They had a few friends in common, like Minho and Alby, and that meant that whenever one of them was at a party, the other would eventually show up. And that wasn't the problem. Not really.

The problem was that Newt was, well, Newt. Thomas had always thought people who stuck with only being attracted to one gender were strange. Like, people are hot no matter what their gender is. And Newt, he was on the very top of Thomas' list of hot people. His blond hair was always a mess, but somehow a sort of stylish mess that Thomas didn't know could exist. His eyes were a warm, chocolate-ish color, and he was built, but still slender, and tall. And don't even get Thomas started on the clothes. Let's just say that when Newt wore his black jeans with a T-shirt and a button up with the sleeves rolled up... Well, it did things to Thomas. Things he was pretty sure were unholy. 

And everytime they got drunk enough, it ended up with them sitting in a corner, making out. It was not that Thomas didn't want to make out with Newt, God knows that was one of his favorite things to do, but more that it was driving him mad, making out almost every weekend (sometimes even on schoolnights) and then act like they didn't know eachother all day. To be fair, they didn't really know eachother. But still. Thomas would really like to have an actaul relationship with Newt, because from what he knew the guy was absolute boyfriend-material, and then he wasn't only talking about his amazing skills in making out. But Newt had a reputation of never being able to stay in a relationship for more than two weeks, and Thomas had been through enough bad break ups to not want to put himself through that, like the one with Brenda. 

So really, Newt was becoming a problem. It had happened more than once that Thomas promised himself to not do anything with Newt on parties, but he always ended up breaking the promise. Klunk, what did Newt do to him?

He finished his coffee a bit quicker than usual and left. He worked weekends at a local flower shop, and today he had the morning shift. It was his favorite shift because he didn't have a lot of customers that time of the day, and that gave him time to study.

He opened up, and then sat behind the counter with a book in front of him. He had an upcoming test in math, and he was far from ready. Like really, math was the _worst._ And today, it was harder than usual.

It was hard enough seeing Newt at school and then try to focus, and seeing him on a Saturday morning, with messier hair than usual (like, real bedhead for once), and the way he bit his lip when he was focusing... Jesus Christ. 

He was lucky, and only had to deal with seven customers before his shift was over. He decided that he needed to give his brain a break, so as soon as he got home he fell down on the couch and prepared to binge watch the first season of Game of Thrones. He made himself a cup of coffee after the first episode, and then ordered a pizza after the fifth.

It was getting late, and he had the morning shift the next day too, so he started to prepare himself for bed, when he heard a knock on the door. He furrowed his eyebrows, and went to open up. Who the hell could want something this time of day? And when he opened the door, he got a huge surprise.

Leaning against the doorframe, was Newt. Thomas immediatley saw that he was drunk. More drunk than he had ever seen him. Newt practically fell onto him, and Thomas managed to catch him before they both hit the floor. 

"Jesus, Newt. How much have you had to drink?" he asked while helping said boy to stand up.

"Much." was the only answer he got, and it was the only one he needed.

"Okay. You're staying here tonight then. I'm not letting you out like this." He said, and started to lead Newt towards his bedroom. He could take the couch.

"Thanks, man. Minho wouldn't let me crash at his." Newt slurred. Thomas put him to bed and took his jeans off. He had a hard time not studying the sight too much, but told himself that it would be so wrong because of how pissed Newt was. He was just about to leave, when Newt grabbed his arm.

"Stay." 

It was a simple command, really, and Thomas was getting tired so he just crawled into bed too, trying not to think about how he was just about to share a bed with _Newt._ A drunk out of his wits Newt, but still Newt. He set his alarm so he was sure he would be up before Newt, partly to avoid awkward explanations to why they shared a bed because he was sure Newt would not remember jack, and partly to have time to make them both breakfast. Newt was already snoring softly next to him, and Thomas fell asleep not long after that, listening to Newt's even breaths.

*************

His alarm rang, and he quickly turned it off, not wanting to wake Newt up. He turned his head, and couldn't help but smile at the sight. During the night, Newt had kicked his duvet off, his his face was turned towards Thomas and he was drooling, mouth fully open and everything, and he was practically sprawled out over the whole bed.

He carefully got up. It was only 7am, and Newt would probably need all the sleep he could get. Thomas pulled on a pair of sweatpants and a T-shirt, deciding against jeans since he didn't start work until 9.30. He walked into the kitchen, filled a glass with water and put it at the bedside together with some aspirin, in case Newt woke up when he was in the kitchen.

He returned to the kitchen and got the ingredients for pancakes out. He was really hungry, and could imagine that Newt would be too, so he made a lot of them. The apartment was soon filled with the smell of pancakes.

When he was done, he walked into the bedroom again. He wanted to make sure Newt was alright before he left for work, and pancakes tasted better when they were freshly made anyways. He sat down on the bedside and shook Newt gently.

"Time for breakfast:" he said softly, and luckily it didn't take more to wake the boy up.

"Hm? Tommy? What am I doing here?" Newt said groggily when he opened one eye. Thomas' stomach jolted at the nickname.

"You had a bit too much to drink last night, and you said Minho wouldn't let you crash at his." he explained, and Newt nodded, before he groaned loudly and fell back into the pillow.

"Oh my God, my head. I must have been so pissed." he said, and Thomas took the glass and aspirin and gave it to Newt.

"Figured you'd have a killer headache. Here. Pancakes' in the kitchen when you feel good enough to get out of bed." he said, and felt strangely pleased when Newt grabbed the things held out for him.

"Thanks, Tommy." He said, and Thomas decided to leave him alone. Before walking out of the room, though, he threw another pair of sweatpants on the bed.

"Guessing these will be more comfortable than jeans." he said, and then left. 

He wanted to wait to eat, to make sure Newt got enough, and he didn't have to wait long. After about ten minutes Newt walked into the kitchen, rubbing his right eye with the back of his hand. He sat down at the table and grabbed one of the pancakes. Satisfied, Thomas grabbed one for himself and they ate in silence, the radio playing music in the background. At 9am, Thomas got up, and went to change clothes. It was getting colder outside, so he grabbed a pair of light blue jeans and a grey sweater. He stopped by the kitchen for a bit.

"Gotta go to work. You can stay here for as long as you want, I'll be back at 2. If you leave before I'm back, could you please lock the door? I've got an extra key over there." he said and pointed at a drawer in the living room/hallway. 

"I've probably got something edible in the fridge in case you get hungry again." he said before putting his jacket on and leaving.

**************

Thomas was on Cloud 9 the whole day. He was being extra nice to the customers and just couldn't sit still. He was about eighty percent sure that Newt would leave before he got home, and he was completely fine with that. He couldn't really say that he would've stayed if he were Newt right now.

When he got home, his guess showed to be correct. The door was locked and the apartment was empty. Newt had left a note on the kitchen table, though.

'Thanks again, Tommy. I mean it. Who knows what would've happened if you hadn't let me in. The pancakes were delicious btw. I'll drop by sometime during the week with your pants and keys.  
Newt'

Thomas smiled. Today couldn't get much better from this. He sat down in the sofa, and gave studying for the test a new shot. Even though he thought it would be hopeless, it went really well. He felt at least fairly ready after just about two hours of studying.

He started to watch some sort of reality show, but couldn't get rid of the feeling of the apartment missing something. Newt. He missed Newt. It felt way to empty without him there. Strange how quickly you can get attached to someone. 

It was just past 9pm and he decided to call it a night, since he had nothing keeping him up anyways. But again, he was interrupted by a knock on the door. He felt a tinge of hope, but his logical side told him it was probably just Minho or someone. He opened up, and it was not Minho.

Newt was back, with a sort of nervous smile. Thomas returned the smile and moved out of the way to let Newt in. Newt handed him the folded pants with the key on top of them. 

"So... yeah. Thought I'd return them right away. I can see you're on your way to bed, so I should probably leave..?" Newt said, and it sounded more like a question. Thomas definitely didn't want Newt to leave.

"No, you can stay. I had nothing else to do, but I'm not really tired. We can watch a movie or something. I'll just put these back. Take-out chinese?" he asked, and he was already on his way to the bedroom.

"That'd be awesome." Newt answered, and as soon as the sweatpants were back in the wardrobe, Thomas picked up his phone and ordered for them.

They ended up sitting on the apartmentfloor, watching Lord of the Rings and eating chinese. Thomas started to feel a bit sleepy, and apparently Newt did too, because suddenly he was resting his head against Thomas' shoulder. Thomas didn't move, and when the movie was over Newt stood up and walked towards the door, and Thomas felt a sudden urge to make him stay.

"Y'know... You can stay here tonight too, if you want. You look pretty tired." he said and started rubbing his neck. When he dared to look up at Newt, the other boy was smiling, and Thomas took that as a yes.

 

From that night on, Newt always carried the extra key to Thomas' apartment, and the nights when they slept alone were rare.


	9. She Looks So Perfect

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so sorry that this is so short. I had a bit of trouble thinking of a story for this song, and not too much inspiration. The next chapter may be a bit short too, but then it should be fine again. I hope you enjoy anyways ^^

Tommy was laying on his bed. Newt and Tommy had been out for a walk, when the rain started. They were soaking wet within a minute, and the water had been dripping off of them when they got inside Newt's house. Newt had lended Tommy some of his underwear (because Tommy insisted that he didn't need any other pieces of clothing) while they waited for Tommy's own clothes to dry.

They had been together for 6 months now, which was sort of a miracle because both of their families disapproved of their relationship, especially Newt's. His parents were pretty homophobic, and the only reason they hadn't tried harder to break them up, was his sister Sonya. She was very accepting and close to Newt, and their parents knew that if they tried to break him and Tommy up they would loose both of their kids. They weren't happy about it though, and Tommy wasn't allowed inside their house when they were home. Luckily, they were away for the weekend.

Newt had been considering running away with Tommy more than a couple of times, and he thought it was a really great option. They both felt sort of trapped in their small town anyways.

"Hey, what's going on in that pretty head of yours?" Tommy asked, and Newt snapped out of his thoughts.

"Nothing. I just thought about how I hate living here, and would like to run away." Newt said, deciding that it would be long before he got a moment as good as this to discuss the whole thing with Tommy again. Tommy frowned and tilted his head a bit to the side.

"What do you mean? You wanna just leave me here?" he asked, and that's when Newt figured he probably could have worded that better. Oh well.

"Of course not. I meant running away with you." he said, and even though the frown disappeared, Tommy didn't look too pleased about it. 

"Why now? We are soon out of this place anyways." he said, and okay, fair enough. They had gotten into the same college, and was moving out in a couple of months. He still didn't want to stay here that long though.

"It's just... It's getting worse here, at home. The whole thing is really draining for Sonya, having to keep my dad from ripping either my or your throath out. I think it is just because of me soon moving out. They probably wants to make another try at breaking us up, for real this time, before I go away." Newt sighed, and Tommy looked at him with a look full of sympathy. Sure, his parents weren't really comfortable with their relationship either, but they were at least trying for Tommy's happiness.

"You could always stay at my place more often. You can tell your parents you're at Minho's instead. His parents would gladly cover up for you, and you know that. They've been nothing but supporting. We've been through six months of this, we can manage a couple more. They're not breaking us up." Tommy said, and got out of his bed. Newt knew he was right. Tommy turned on some music, and then stretched out his hand for Newt to take. Holy klunk, did he look perfect in Newt's underwear.

"May I have this dance?" Tommy asked, and was way to formal to be serious. Newt laughed and took his hand. They spun around in his room, and Newt decided that, yes, they could get through this, and quite easily too.


	10. The Hammer Has Fallen

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I will apologize about this chapter in advance, so yeah. Sorry about this. Like... Really. But I just read the "Page" again, and felt that it was fitting for this song. Please don't hate me

Newt was sort of in control, like those times in the Glade when he hadn't slept for two nights straight. When he was aware of what he was doing, but not as controlled as when he was fully rested. This time, though, he had a bit less control. He was still aware of what he was doing, he would be able to stop if he went too far and his brain was functioning well enough for him to decide what would be best to do in this situation. And it was to convince Tommy that he was more Gone than he actually was. He decided that anger would do the trick.

"I hate you, Tommy! I hate you I hate you I hate you! After all I did for you, after all the freaking klunk I went through in the bloody Maze, you can't do the one and only thing I've ever asked you to do! I can't even look at your ugly shuck face!" he shouted, and it was so hard to keep up the poker face. He didn't mean any of the words coming out of his own mouth. He didn't hate Tommy. How could he ever? But he needed Tommy to do this. No one else would, and he couldn't stand it anymore. Tommy still tried to reason with him, and he decided to give up just a little bit more of his control. He screamed and tackled him to the ground. He felt a strange combination of sadness and being pleased when he noticed Tommy reaching for the gun.

He let even more of his control go, and told Tommy about his attempted suicide, and then forced Tommy to press the gun against his head. He _hated_ to see what he did to Tommy, but forced himself to continue. Tommy had reached for the gun by his own choice, so Newt was close now. 

The look on Tommy's face when he asked him to put him out of his misery... That almost bloody broke him. But he had to keep pushing. And so he did, even though we wanted nothing more than to hug Tommy and cry.

"KILL ME!" he finally shouted on the top of his lungs. That's when he realized how much control he had actually let go off. He could feel how much Tommy was shaking, and calmed himself down enough to be himself completely for one last time. He didn't want to die like a half-crazed version of himself.

"Please, Tommy. Please." he pleaded, feeling back to normal again. He saw Tommy close his eyes, and heard the shot go off.

*************

Tommy had been shaking too much for the shot to be directly lethal. Newt was pleased, though, because he knew that it would only take a couple of minutes for it to take him away. He played dead while Tommy got away. If he saw that he was still alive, Newt was one hundered percent certain that he wouldn't leave until he died, and he needed Tommy to get out of here. The shot would surely attract the other Cranks.

Weirdly enough, he still felt like himself without having to control it. Like Tommy had shot the Flare out of his brain. He felt... at peace. That was for sure a new sensation. 

"Thank you, Tommy." he whispered when the van drove off. He knew no one could hear it, but he still wanted to say those words. He didn't feel any pain, and he couldn't move, so he decided to just lay there and wait. He felt bad for what he had forced Tommy to do, he knew that the boy would _never_ forgive himself. He was too good-hearted for his own good, and that was one of the many things that made him fall in love. He was so grateful that Tommy had done it though, because he had known that he was the only one he could trust to do it.

His life hadn't been a happy one. Not the parts he could remember at least. It had had it's moments, of course, but it still hadn't been a happy one. His leg was more than enough proof of that. He thought back to the happy times in the Glade. How it had been an unspoken agreement right from the beginning that he was the one who should help out the Greenies before they really settled in. How he would spend the few free afternoons he got just hanging out with the ones whose work didn't require full attention, like Zart. The bonfires they used to have on the anniversaries of when they got there. The delicious cakes Frypan would make when he got extra ingredients every once in a while. Walking around the Glade and take the whole place in, the smells of the flowers and the sound of the sleeping boys, on nights when he couldn't fall asleep... all those things. If it weren't for the Maze and the monsters, their life there would have been _so_ close to perfect. 

And really, Tommy hadn't exactly made it worse. When he looked back at it now, he would have preferred if they had stayed in the Maze, but at the time they all thought it would be better in the world outside, so when things started to happen when Tommy got there he had felt the first real, actual hope of getting out of there. And even outside, Tommy's determination and optimism about making sure everyone would survive had been more than enough to keep him on his feet. It was only recently he had given up, in a similar way to when he gave up in the Maze, but he hadn't had the courage to end it himself this time.He had just accepted that death was meant to be his fate, and hoped that someone would end it for him as soon as possible. And now he finally got what he wanted.

He was brought back to reality of the sensation of someone gnawing on his arm. Apparently the Cranks had finished the other body and continued on to his. Tommy's shot must have damaged the part of the brain that sent out pain signals to the rest of the body, and Newt would be eternally thankfull for that. He didn't do anything about the Cranks, and felt himself slipping away for real.

His last thoughts went to thanking Tommy again, and then he let a breath out, never to breathe in again.


	11. Love Don't Let Me Down

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am pretty pleased with this chapter actually ^^ I still need suggestions for songs though :) Enjoy!

Thomas had never really gotten the whole thing with "commitment". Why just stick with one person when there were so many? I understood that this often made him seem heartless in the eyes of others (he had been _very_ well-informed about this by his exes, thank you very much). He had always been pretty outgoing, and it was long since he had spent an entire weekend at home, and not at a bar or partying with his friends. So really, he wasn't actually alone, but he still felt lonely from time to time, but he didn't care about that too much.

He was in college at the moment, but he had already made plans of what he wanted to do after. And it was to travel and see the world. He didn't like the thought of settling down. Travel and having a new lover every night. That sounded pretty good to him. And visiting his friends of course.

**************

Newt couldn't really say that he was introverted. Sure, he wasn't the most outgoing person in the world, but he still liked talking to and getting to know new people. He was too trusting and only saw the good in people though, and that had led to a lot of heartache on his part. He had been cheated on, used, abused and emotionally scarred too many times to count. 

His last realtionship had ended with him finding his boyfriend, Gally, in bed with his sister. His _sister!_ It wasn't his sisters fault, he and Gally had been keeping it a secret (even though Newt had thought it was because Gally was worried about his family seeing him with a guy) and he didn't blame her. But really, that had been the last straw and he had decided to give up on love for a while now and lock his feelings away. It really was for his own good, he couldn't take any more. Not without a break at least.

**************

Newt sat in a coffee shop near his college on a friday morning, working on an assignment. It was pretty busy in there tody, but no one bothered him and that suited him just fine. Well, until Thomas showed up.

Newt didn't really know the guy, but he knew Minho and was the one the Asian always dragged with him to parties because he knew Newt wouldn't want to go. Newt knew who the guy was, but hadn't really seen him other from, like, the other side of the corridor or something. But to be fair, pretty much everyone knew who Thomas was. He was the biggest heartbreaker at school. And... _Wow._ Newt could see why. The guy looked like a bloody Greek god, with an extra tad of perfect. Thomas met his eyes, and Newt quickly turned his gaze back to the assignment. He just stared at the hottest guy ever, and got caught. _Good start on your new No Love-lifestyle, Newt._ He prayed that Thomas would sit down with some of the more popular students.

But of course, his general bad luck kicked in, and when a cup of coffee was put down at his table and he looked up, and stared right at Thomas, who just sat down. _Crap._

**************

Thomas walked in to the coffee shop, deciding that he would need some caffeine before his classes started. He was ordering, when he felt someone watching him, and he saw Newt staring at him, The other boy quickly looked away, and Thomas smirked. The only reason he knew who Newt was, was because that dude was Minho's best friend and he would never shut up about him. He would almost had assumed that Minho had a crush on his bestie, if he himself weren't talking just as much about Teresa.

From what he had caught from Minho, Newt seemed like a nice guy. He was intelligent and very into art, literature and movies. He was one of the few british kids they had at school, and he wasn't out much on the weekends. And he was friends with Minho, so he had to be pretty cool. And really, the guy didn't exactly look bad either. His blond hair was always kind of messy, and he was built, but still lean. And Thomas hadn't actually seen one guy who could rock beanies and glasses quite like Newt.

Thomas got his coffee and decided to find out just how cool Newt were, and went over to his table.

**************

Thomas looked at Newt's laptop.

"Assignment?" he asked and took a sip of his coffee. Newt decided that he could try talking to Thomas, for Minho's sake. He nodded.

"Yeah. I have to write about everything wrong about the film 'Tropic Thunder'" he sighed. Thomas immediatley seemed more interested.

"The one with Robert Downey Jr?" he asked.

"Exactly that one." Newt replied with a smile. He was kind of surprised to find someone who knew about it. Thomas looked almost sympathetic.

"Oh, man. That can't be fun. I mean, the movie's hilarious, but there has to be a ton of things wrong with it." he said, and let out a quiet laugh.

"It's horrible." Newt agreed. "I'd rather write about something by Marvel." Newt joked. Thomas eyes lit up with something.

"So, a geek huh? Should've understood that. One can't be Minho's best friend and not be a geek." Thomas smiled, and Newt decided. He liked Thomas. It was something about him.

**************

"Have he made you watch Star Wars yet?" Newt asked him, and Thomas shook his head.

"Then you know what you've got to look forward to. And just a tip: bring Red Bull or something. He'll want to binge watch them all, and you won't have a head anymore if you fall asleep." Newt told him and laughed. Thomas could easily see what Minho liked about the guy.

They talked for a while, before Newt had to get to his first class. Thomas suggested they exchange numbers, which they did, and when Newt left Thomas felt strangely pleased with himself. This could certainly take an interesting turn. 

**************

Newt flopped down on his sofa. Today had been exhausting. First, he had to finish that bloody film-assignment, then they had had a pop-quiz in math, he had to stay at school hours after his classes were over, when he got home he had had nothing to eat so he had to go shopping, and to finish it all the rain started to pour down when he was on his way home. 

He didn't feel like cooking anymore, so he just put on the TV and started to watch the random baking show that was on. He almost jumped through the roof when his phone buzzed.

 **Mr. Janson gave you a pop quiz today too?** The text was from Thomas.

 **Yeah. That man is the devil himself.** Not even a minute later his phone buzzed again.

 **Indeed. But if all of Minho's talk about you is more than just bullshit, you're smart, so you probs aced the damn thing.** Newt actually blushed. Holy crap. This would _not_ end well for him. Not with Thomas' reputation.

**It's one of Janson's pop quizzes, no one aces those, Tommy.**

**True. So... Who's your fave of Marvel's superheroes?** Newt smiled. He replied that it was a tie between Steve Rogers and Natasha Romanoff. Tony Stark was Tommy's, and Newt couldn't say that he was surprised. They continued their texting, and suddenly it was midnight and they were in the middle of a discussion about if it would be scarier to be chased by a dinosaur or if the sky was falling to pieces. They decided that the sky-thing would be the scariest, and then Newt said that he wanted to get some sleep.

Well in bed, he decided that he was screwed. He had _already_ devloped a minor crush on Tommy. This couldn't possibly end well.

**************

They start to text eachother on a daily basis, and it occurs more often that the two of them hangs out with Minho at the same time. Thomas has decided that he really likes Newt. Like... It's a whole new sensation for him, he hasn't felt like this for anyone before. He brings it up to Minho one night, and the guy nearly falls off the sofa laughing.

"Holy... You really don't know what you're experiencing, are you?" he asks when he can finally talk again, and Thomas shakes his head. Minho pats him on the back.

"You, my dear friend, are now a man in love." he says, and it doesn't really come as a shock for Thomas, he had been suspecting that. It still felt weird though. He wasn't sure how to do any of this. His longest relationship had lasted for a week, and he had never actually been into someone before. Minho seemed to sense it.

"Dude, I know this must be weird for you. I'm gonna say this though. Newt hasn't really been the luckiest one when it comes to relationships. I can tell that he likes you too, but take it slow and easy. He's been through a lot, and his last relationship ended _horribly_ , so he might not want to have anything to do with feelings for a while yet." Minho said, before leaving Thomas to go for a run.

Thomas made the decision that he might as well go talk to Newt now. It was Saturday, and he wasn't really the type to just let these things stay secret. He got his phone up and texted Newt.

**************

 **We need to talk. I'll be over in 10.** Newt read the text, and his whole body filled with dread. This was it. Tommy had done what almost everyone else had done eventually: decided that Newt wasn't worth it. The conversation would start with something like "Listen. I'm sorry but..." or "I've been thinking..." and then he would try to tell him to loose his number in the nicest way possible. Newt just knew this.

He didn't realize he was having an anxiety attack until Tommy knocked on the door. He took a few deep breaths to calm himself down, and then plastered on a fake smile and opened the door.  
"Hey, Tommy," he greeted and stepped out of the way to let the other boy in.

"Hey." Tommy answered and made his way to the sofa. He sat down, and patted beside him to make Newt do the same, which he did of course. He decided to speak first.

"Tommy, I've been through this more times than I can count, so please, don't bloody sugarcoat it." to his surprise, Tommy looked confused, but then seemed to remember something and looked almost sad instead. Sad?

"Right. Yeah, Minho told me your love life haven't been the easiest, and I'm guessing the same goes with friends?" Tommy said, and Newt felt something like betrayal. Minho? They had been friends for _years!_ Couldn't he trust anyone?

"I'm gonna bloody kill him..." Newt said in a low voice.

"Oh no, please don't. He didn't give me any details at all. He just said that he thinks you've been through enough pretty much." Tommy hurried to cover up, and Newt felt better again. Minho was still only caring for him. But he still wanted to get this goodbye overwith. It's always worse when it takes time.

"Okay. Good. But can we please get this overwith? Just say our bloody goodbyes and go on with our lives?" he asked and leaned back against the sofa. Tommy seemed almost shocked at his words.

"Oh, you think...? No. No no no. I'm not here because I don't want to be your friend anymore." Tommy clarified. Newt shot right back up again. He couldn't really believe what he had just heard. This was almost to good to be true. 

"Then what do we need to talk about?" he asked, and he could see Tommy's brain working overtime in there. 

"I'm really not good at this sort of thing..." he begun carefully, and Newt immedatley got more interested. 

"I'm guessing you've been through a lot of hard break ups and all sorts of things, and it would be almost idiotic to assume that not a single one was because of someone like me. And you have made me realize how wrong I've been to do that..." he explained, but Newt interrupted him.

"I've never met anyone like you. I'm sure that would actually have lasted." Newt blurts out, and regrets adding that last part. He didn't need to make his stupid crush _that_ obvious. Luckily, Tommy didn't seem to react to that, but just waved away the argument.

"You know what I mean. A new lover every night. That type of guys." Tommy said, and Newt nodded. Of course Tommy was right.

"But like I said, I've realized how wrong that was. I... like you, Newt. In a way I've never liked anyone before." he finished, and Newt understood exactly what he meant with that. He couldn't stop his jaw from dropping in shock.

"Well... I should probably..." Tommy said and started to stand to make his way to the door, but Newt grabbed his arm.

"You sit your bloody butt down again. This talk isn't over." He said, and Tommy stared at him while slowly sitting down again.

"You listening?" Newt asked and Tommy nodded, still staring.

"Good. I like you too. I just didn't think it would be safe for me with both our past love lives in mind, and and that made me keep my mouth shut about it. Now, before you say anything, I'm not ready to take this any further. Not yet. My last relationship ended with me finding my boyfriend in bed with my sister. So it's up to you to decide if you can wait for me, or want to move on." he finished, and awaited Tommy's answer. The other boy looked... Newt didn't even know. There were so many emotions visible in his face.

"I don't... I don't know how to react to that. But of _course_ I'll wait. That's not even a question." Tommy said, and Newt smiled.

"Good. Now, loose that jacket, lunch's on me. Pizza?" he asked, and Tommy smiled a huge smile.

"Pizza sounds great."


	12. If You Only Knew

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'll just continue asking for suggestions, even though it feels like I'm like a nagging mom.  
> Hope you still enjoy this chapter though! ^^

Thomas turned again and looked at the clock. 3.45am. He could usually fall asleep before it got this late, but not tonight apparently. His thoughts of Newt were more intense than he was used to. But that probably had to do with it being the anniversary of their fight. 

They had been together for two years and Newt had lived in Thomas' apartment, but they had had a huge fight that Thomas' couldn't even remember what it had been about and Newt had moved back to his parents. Thomas had tried to send letters, but Newt had returned them all. Thomas still loved Newt, and wanted him back, but if Newt left, that was probably not going to happen.

4am. He sighed and got up. It was one year ago. He would try just once more, and then try to move on. He picked his phone up and walked to stand at the window in the kitchen. He wondered for a moment if Newt still had the same number, and decided that it would be worth a shot. Newt was still one of his emergency contacts. He called and leaned against the wall. He closed his eyes and prayed that Newt would pick up. 

"You bloody idiot! Do you know what time it is?! I thought the letters would let you know that I'm not interested in forgiving you!" Newt shouted after the fifth signal. Thomas' knees almost gave in. He had missed Newt's voice so much, he didn't even care about how angry it was.

"Please, Newt. Don't end the call. I just think we should talk." Thomas pleaded, and he could practically _hear_ Newt's frown.

"Okay, then talk, Thomas. You woke me up, and right now I've not too much patience with ya." Newt sighed, and Thomas could hear him sitting down on the bed through the phone.

"Look, Newt. I miss you, alright? I miss you everyday, and it only gets worse. I don't even remember what the shuck fight was about. I still love you, but you know that already. I can barely sleep, and I miss everything we did. The nights with take-out on the floor in front of Disney movies, the dancing in the middle of the night, everything. And tonight I just needed to hear your voice once more, so I can maybe move on." Thomas said, and it felt good to finally say those things to Newt. The silence, though, that didn't feel good. He could see Newt's face in front of him. The little crease in his forehead that always appeared when he was thinking, the way his mouth would be a thin line...

"Okay." was the answer. Thomas felt like he needed more of a reaction.

"Okay? You've got nothing else to say?" Thomas asked, and was careful not to sound too hurt or angry.

"Of course I've got more to say, Tommy! I miss you too, shuckface. I'm just afraid the same thing will happen again. If you knew of all the times I've had to stop myself from calling, or give you a bloody visit... I just can't risk it. That fight broke my heart, Tommy..." Newt said, and now his voice had lost all traces of anger, and just sounded tired and sad. They grew quiet.

"Brenda." Newt finally said. Thomas stood up again.

"What?" Thomas asked, because he had no idea what Newt was talking about.

"The fight. It was about Brenda. I was jealous of her, because she seemed so close to you and I was afraid of losing you." Newt explained quietly, like he had lost all energy. Thomas felt his heart break.

"Newt... that wasn't a thing that was going to happen, ever. I love you, and no one could change that. I haven't been on a single date since that night. I can't get over you, Newt. And really, I would never have left you, I hope you know that." he said, tried to plead one last time. Newt sighed.

"I know that, Tommy. At least I know now. I'm sorry, I need to sleep and think about this. I'll be in touch, I promise." Newt said and Thomas nodded, even though Newt couldn't see him.

"Okay. Sorry I woke you up. Goodnight, Newt." he said and started to walk towards the living room.

"Goodnight, Tommy." Newt replied and hung up. Thomas felt relieved. Newt had actually talked and listened to him, and called him by his nickname. If Newt called him that, he wasn't _too_ angry with him. 

He sat down on the sofa, he knew he wouldn't get any sleep tonight. He put on a movie, but didn't pay attention to it. His thoughts were still all about the call. Newt was close to forgiving him, and would think about what he had said! That was way more than he could have asked for.

Suddenly he heard a knock on the door and jumped up from the sofa. He walked to the hallway and opened it. He couldn't even see who it was before he had arms around his neck in a hug.

"I bloody love you too, Tommy." he heard Newt's voice whisper in his ear. He hugged back instantly. Newt still smelled exactly the same. They stood for a long time, enjoying eachother's embrace. When the finally let go, Thomas stood for a long time and just looked at Newt. He had apparently left right away, and was still wearing a T-shirt and PJ's. The sight before him was downright beautiful.

"I think we should try again. If you're down for that." Newt said, never breaking eye-contact.

"You don't even have to ask." Thomas said and pulled Newt with him to the sofa by the hand.

"Good that." Newt said as he put his head on Thomas shoulder. Thomas was sure he would never feel sad again, and both of them smiled while they fell asleep.


	13. Nicotine

The walls were a few minutes from closing, and Newt put down his shovel for the day. He saw from the distance how Tommy were just leaving the Map Room with Chuck at his side. He knew he should go get some dinner too, but he wanted to make sure that Minho made it out of the Maze too. He leaned against one of the trees and kept his gaze fixated at Tommy.

It had been six months since Tommy's arrival, and he was liked by almost everyone. Even Gally had sort of accepted him now. It had taken Newt about a month to figure out that he was head over heels for Thomas. Of course the feelings had appeared earlier (about two weeks after the arrival), but it took him a while to figure them out. Sadly, though, the Maze wasn't really a place fit for romance. Some of the boys were in relationships, and of course there was a few things going on, like drunken one night-stands and maybe something that could be called dating if they weren't in the Maze. He knew for a fact that Minho had had a little something going on with one of the Builders. 

But Tommy wasn't exactly helping. Firstly, he looked good. The other boys only said otherwise because they were joking, and in some cases slightly jealous. Tommy was one of the best looking guys they'd ever had. Then his personality was very likable. But the bonfires were the worst part.

Tommy had managed to get drunk for the last five ones, and kissed Newt everytime. It wasn't that Newt didn't want to kiss him, because God knows he loved that. No, it was the fact that Tommy was always drunk during those occasions, and when he was sober he acted all lovey-dovey around Teresa. Newt had come to the conclusion that Thomas would never, ever and that their kisses were just some drunken impulse-thing. Teresa was beautiful, no one could deny that, and she was nice to be around too. They were both lucky and deserved eachother.

It was still driving Newt up the wall though. He didn't remember smoking before the Maze, but he knew about it and he was pretty sure Tommy were worse than nicotine. If he had dared he would have kissed Tommy while sober too, because he couldn't get enough of them, but he didn't want to risk anything. They needed eachother to get out of here, and he didn't think awkwardness and tension would make it any easier.

His thoughts were interrupted by Minho running past him and patting his shoulder. He took that as his cue and went to get some dinner from Fry.

He sat down with Tommy and Chuckie, who were having a discussion about what flowers around the Glade smelled the best. Apparently Tommy preffered the daisies and Chuck the dandelions. When they asked him he just went for the roses they had, because they were much more rare. Then he returned to silently eat his food while studying Tommy's face. Those bloody lips were magical. He decided that he needed to do something. He was not going to grab Tommy's shirt and pull him across the table to kiss him, but he was going to talk to him. He didn't need to open up about his feelings, but at least he would know what the whole kissing thing was about. He finished his meal and stood up. He put a hand on Tommy's shoulder to get his attention.

"We gotta talk. Meet me at the graveyard when you're done here." he said and left without waiting for a response. He knew Tommy would show up. He walked to the graveyard and leaned against a tree while waiting. He didn't have to wait for long.

"Hey. What'd you wanna talk about?" Tommy asked when he appeared. Newt tilted his head a bit, suggesting they walk while they talk. He turns around while Tommy catch up with him.

"I don't know if you remember..." he said while pushing a branch out of the way. "But for the last five bonfires you've been bloody pissed..." he continued but got cut off by Tommy.

"And I've kissed you. Yeah, I remember. You're probably wondering what's up with that, right?" Tommy said, turning his head around to look at a Beetle Blade.

"Yeah. Ya know what they say: 'once a coincidence...'" Newt replied, doing a pretty lame attempt to joke.

"Yeah. Well, the saying is true then. I quite enjoy kissing you, but only do it when I'm drunk 'cause then I can blame it on the alcohol." Tommy said, and Newt stopped. He couldn't believe Tommy had just said that. Tommy must have seen that, because he tried to start explaining.

"I don't want anything like that to cause a lot of awkwardness and suff, because we need to work a lot together, and you're the best friend I've got. You have very kissable lips though, so I take a chance whenever I get one." Tommy looked at the ground while scratching his neck. Newt smirked a little bit.

"So, you're sayin' you get drunk because you want to kiss me?" 

"Yeah... Basically I guess." Tommy still wouldn't look up. Newt decided to just make sure about Teresa before making a move.

"What about Teresa? Doesn't she have 'very kissable lips' too?" he asked, making sure there was a slight joking tone in his voice. Tommy's ears turn red, and Newt could feel his heart practically jump because Tommy is bloody _blushing_ .

"Well, yeah, but I don't like her in that way." he mumbled, and Newt is now smiling for real.

"So you like me in that way?" Newt asked, just needing that confirmation to make a move. Tommy grew silent for a long while, before almost whispering "yeah." Newt didn't need to know more. He put his thumb under Tommy's cheek and the rest of his fingers along his jaw to make him look him in the eyes again.

"Let's see how you like kissing me while sober then, shall we?" he said, and he could see the exitement that lit up in Tommy's eyes before crashing their lips together.

The kiss was less sloppy than their drunken ones, and very tender. They carefully moved their lips against eachother's, and Newt kept his hand at Tommy's face while the other one moved to his hips, while Tommy put one hand in his hair and the other one around his neck. Newt was so happy, he was sure he was going to burst open and spread flowers all over the bloody place.

When they finally broke apart, Tommy leaned his head against Newt's shoulder and they didn't say anything for a while.

"I could do that more times." Tommy finally let out, and Newt smirked.

"Good that." he replied before pressing Tommy against a tree and kissing him again.


	14. Angel With A Shotgun

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This will be following the story of the book a bit more, and probably be one of the longest chapters. And I'm sorry about this chapter. Please forgive me.  
> Enjoy! ^^

Thomas woke up to Chuck sitting beside him. The boy looked really tense. He sat up, putting the weith of his upper body on his elbows.

"Chuck? What's up? How long have I been out?" he asked, slightly worried. If Chuck looked tense somthing must be _really_ wrong.

"Just about a day. Things are klunk around here though." the boy said, and then hesitated. Now Thomas got worried for real.

"Well, Alby's alive and going through the Changing, but things went wrong when they got him down. They were just about to get back here, a Griever came around the corner." the boy stopped, and Thomas really didn't like were this was going. He looked at Chuck, urging him to continue. 

"It stung Newt." he said, and Thomas' felt like the world spun around. That couldn't be true. But the air was pierced by two screams of pain to confirm Chuck's words. Thomas fell back onto the bed.

No.

**************

He sat quietly at a table, eating dinner with Minho. The Asian had been given the role of the leader while Alby and Newt were out, en the boy looked _drained_. He stared into thin air with bloodshot eyes and his shoulders were tense. Newt screamed again, and the sound rang through the entire Glade. Thomas tried desperatley to block the sound out. He couldn't stand it.

The Creators were going to _suffer_ for this. He couldn't decide if he most wanted to kill all Grievers or get out of the Maze, so decided he wanted to do both. No one did this to Newt without consequences.

He said a short goodnight to Minho, and went straight for his corner in the Deadheads. It was the furthest away from the Homestead,and where he was most likely to get some sleep. Minho had decided with the other Keepers that they were going to wait to decide what to do with Thomas until things calmed down again and that he was Minho's responsibility until then. Thomas was content with that. He was busy worrying about Newt at the moment. He fell asleep after a few hours of tossing and turning.

**************

The next day, Thomas spent most of the time either talking to Minho or sitting by Newt's side. The boy had stopped screaming, but he still looked horrible. His skin was pale, his cheeks hollow and dark circles under his hair. Most of the time he was laying still, but sometimes he would start moving, turning and tossing his head back and forth while moaning. Thomas was furious about the whole thing.

Newt had been placed in the same room as the girl. She was still in her coma, and even though she had been in it for days, she still looked way better than Newt. She looked like she was just taking a nap, while Newt looked like he was dying.

He kept the same pattern up for three days. Chuck woke him up, they ate breakfast together, Minho took over after that, they wandered around the Glade together, ate lunch, and then Thomas spent the afternoon beside Newt before eating dinner and waiting a couple of hours before sleeping.

**************

The fourth day, though, it was different. Chuck woke him up, and the sky was grey. Thomas ate breakfast as usual, because he would need food. Minho joined him before he was finished.

"Any ideas what's going on?" he asked, and Thomas shook his head, mouth full of food.

"It was worth a shot." the Asian sighed. "No one knows." 

"We should be extra careful today. Something's really off." Thomas said, and Minho nodded.

"Yeah, I figured that much. I've already sent the Runners out, in case something happens out there today, but I've told them to not go too far. We don't know what could happen. I've told the other Keepers to tell their workers to continue as usual, but to keep and eye out for something out of the ordinary. You and I, we'll be with our leader, second-in-command and only girl all day. Newt and Alby should wake up soon, and the girl's situation should change soon, or I don't know what we should do with her." Minho said, and Thomas nodded. That was an as good plan as any.

They finished their breakfast and went straight for the Homestead. They walked by Alby's room first, only to see that he was already awake. Minho Immediatley got two chairs out and sat himself down on the one closest to Alby. Thomas carefully sat down on the other. He had learned to always be cautious of Alby, and now he was almost scared.

"Alby, man. How're you feeling?" Minho asked, his voice not really a whisper, but not normal either. Alby slowly turned his head to them. He looked half-dead. 

"Not good." Alby replied and Minho nodded. Thomas decided to not open his mouth if he didn't absolutely have to, and stay as invisible as possible. Alby seemed pretty composed, and sat up straighter.

"So, what's the news? Anything new?" he asked, and Minho met Thomas eyes briefly. It was obvious that he didn't know where to start.

"What's the last thing you remember?" he asked, and Alby looked like he was thinking hard.

"You trying to get me away from that Griever in the Maze. I guess I passed out?" Alby replied, and Minho nodded. Thomas could see how hard he was working to sum up everything.

"A lot has been happening. I'll start off closest to what you remember. You and I didn't make it out of the Maze. We were just a couple of feet away when the doors closed. Thomas ran in just before and got inside. And before you say anything, you wouldn't still be alive without him so let me continue without interruptions. I got so scared I almost klunked my pants and abandoned you both. He went into some sort of Trazan-mode and hung you uo on the wall to get you out of the way of the Grievers and then lured them the other way. I'm sure we'd both be dead without him. When we got back, Newt sent us to the Med-jacks so I don't know exactly what happened, but they got you down from the wall and was about to leave when a Griever turned up and... It got Newt, Alby. He's been through the Changing too, but hasn't woke up yet. We've been spending the last three days looking out for the two of you and the girl. And today... Look at the sky and you'll see." Minho finished with an exhausted sigh and rubbed his face. Alby looked out, and Thomas could pin-point the moment when Alby realized what was wrong.

He sank back onto the bed, and Minho stood up. He put a hand on Alby's shoulder.

"Get some more rest, dude. I can handle this today. I'll go get you something from Fry." he said and then put a hand on Thomas' shoulder to lead him out of the room. Thomas closed the door and Minho turned to him.

"Go keep the other two company. I'll probably spend most of the day with Alby. Just tell me in case anything happens. We'll talk to the Runners when they get back and see if we can figure something out." he said, and Thomas nodded.

"Good that." he said and walked off to enter Newt and the girl's room.

He sat down on the chair that he never bothered putting away when he left. He looked down at Newt and felt strangely sad.

"Alby's back now. When did you plan on waking up? We need you back, Newt. Something's up. The sky's turned grey, like some sort of roof. Makes me think the whole Maze is inside some sort of building or something." he muttered, even though he knew Newt couldn't hear him. He sighed and looked outside. The Gladers were working like usual, but with much more frequent looks at the sky. He saw Minho making his way to the kitchen. Today was going to be long.

He sat with Minho and Alby, who had gotten out of bed, during lunch and discussed the whole thing with the sky, but they came up with nothing. This sort of thing weren't _possible_ , and it was frustrating.

Finally, the evening came and Minho got him to wait for the Runners by the western door. One of the boys Thomas didn't know the name of came through it, red faced and exhausted.

"Anything new?" Minho asked, and Thomas caught a hint of hope in his voice. He himself felt a huge disappointment when the Runner shook his head. Minho nodded and patted his shoulder.

"Alright. Go to the Map Room." he said and the Runner took off. Minho looked at him and nodded, and that was the signal to Thomas that he was done for the day. He went to the kitchen and ate a quick dinner together with Chuck, and then went for the Deadheads again. It wasn't long until he got disturbed. He expected it to be Chuck or someone, but he got the surprise of his life.

It was the girl.

She walked to stand three feet in front of him.

"W...What's your name?" he asked, as that was the only thing he could think of.

"Teresa." she replied. "And you're Thomas, right?" she asked, and he nodded. Today was so not his day, his head was a mess because of... Everything.

They didn't get to talk more before Alby showed up with Minho right after him. Alby was furious and ordered to send Teresa to the Slammer. When Thomas got to know the reason for Alby's anger, he found it pretty reasonable. The doors weren't closing. When Teresa was out of the way, Minho took over again.

"We need to figure out what to do." was all he said, and looked at Thomas as if he wanted Thomas to tell him the meaning of life.

"We should barricade the Homestead, no one's sleeping outside anymore. Make sure the maps are safe, and maybe give some weapons to everyone. And we should move Newt to the Slammer." he said, and Minho nodded as if he was considering it, while Alby looked angry still.

"Why should we move Newt to the Slammer? We could protect him if he's with us." he said and Thomas almost hit his head against a tree. Almost.

"Yeah, but Grievers can climb walls, and the Homestead is made out of wood. They can easily break in, and then everyone will think of saving themselves, and Newt can't exactly defend himself. The Slammer is probably the safest building for him. We could have someone stationed with him inside to keep an eye on him." he said, and Alby seemed sort of pleased with that. Minho started making his way out of the Deadheads.

"You'll be on Newt-duty tonight then, Thomas. I'd send one of the Med-jacks there, but we may need them tonight. I'll get some food from Fry in case Newt wakes up during the night. He'll probably be starving." Minho said, before walking off. Thomas took it as his mission to inform the Med-jack of the arrangement. He went for the Homestead, and found Jeff in Newt's room.

"Hey, Jeff." he greeted when he entered the room. Jeff turned towards him.

"Thomas." he said, waiting for Thomas to explain why he was there.

"Minho's made a decision about Newt. He'll be moved to the Slammer tonight for safety reasons, and I'll be in there with him, since Minho thinks you and Clint would be more help in here with the rest." he explained, and Jeff nodded.

"We'll move him now then. Grab his legs." he said as he moved to Newt's head and crooked his arms around his upper body. Thomas grabbed Newt by the knees and the started to make their way down the stairs. They nearly droppen Newt one or two times, and then they were down. They had to make their way through the panicked boys, but overall it went smooth.

They put down Newt on the floor, and Jeff looked at him with a sort of apologetic look.

"We can't spare any mattresses or something. Sorry." he said and Thomas shrugged.

"We'll be fine. I won't sleep anyways, probably." he answered, and Jeff gave him a nod before leaving. About two minutes later, Minho arrived with a bag of food.

"Fry was very generous. There's enough in here for both you and Newt and more. Maybe he thought you would need a midnight snack." he said with a forced smirk. Thomas grabbed the bag and tried to give a small smile.

"Alright. I'll lock you up now. See ya tomorrow." Minho said and locked the door. Thomas sat down beside Newt and waited. He could already hear the Grievers in the distance. He moved together with Newt to one of the walls and sat with his back against it. He moved Newt so he could put his head in his lap. He could at least give Newt a pillow in case he woke up. 

The boys in the Homestead grew quiet, and now the night was waiting for them all.

Thomas couldn't resist touching Newt's hair. He studied his face in the newt light, and Newt was... _beautiful_. There was no other word for it. He heard the Grievers coming closer, and now he really wished he wasn't alone. Suddenly Newt started moving again. Thomas started to hum on a tune. He couldn't remember where he'd heard it, but he knew it like the back of his hand. Newt stilled a little bit, but seemed more awake now. Thomas continued humming, and after around ten minutes Newt's eyes started to flutter.

"T... Tommy? Where are we? What's going on? What's happened?" Newt asked with a voice harsh from lack of usage. 

"We're in the Slammer. The Maze seems to have been turned off or something like that. You've been out for four days, and the sky looked like a grey ceiling today and the doors didn't close. We moved you out here out of safety reasons, since the Grievers will probably come here tonight and if you didn't wake up you'd be safer here." Thomas explained. Newt nodded and slowly sat up. He looked like he'd been on the run for days.

"Alby...?" he asked with a look at Thomas.

"Woke up this morning. The girl's up too. Alby threw her in the Slammer too, though. He was furious." Thomas answered and Newt nodded again. Before they could say anything else, they heard a Griever moaning, and it was _close._ It sounded like it was entering the Glade. And sure enough, they heard the spikes against the floor. Newt tensed up, and Thomas put a reassuring hand on his shoulder.

"Hey, we're probably the safest guys in the Glade. Nothing'll happen to us. And they would have to go through me first, and why would they manage that when they couldn't the first time?" he said, trying to calm Newt down a bit. Newt looked at him, and threw a very small and very nervous smile.

"I know, Tommy. It's just... I hate those things. I could barely keep calm when I showed you the window, and that was much thanks to the walls..." Newt trailed off, and Thomas almost hugged him.

"Like I said, they would have to go through me before they could even get close to you." he said, and Newt looked at him with such panicked eyes, that he couldn't stop himself. 

He pulled Newt closer to a hug, and the other boy stiffened for a moment, before relaxing into his embrace. Thomas drew circular patterns with his fingers on Newt's back, and Newt clutched at his shirt. They stayed that way for a long way, maybe something like an hour. When they finally let go off eachother, Thomas remembered the bag of food. He grabbed it and opened it up.

"Fry was pretty generous in case you woke up." Thomas said to Newt, who looked almost calm and started to look at what was in the bag. He picked up two bottles of water, a few sandwiches and four apples. They took one sandwich each and ate up them. Thomas looked at Newt, and felt so incredibly happy that he was awake again. 

They spent the night talking, and Thomas realized just how much he _liked_ Newt. When Newt's watch told them it was right after 4am, Thomas was too exhausted to really control what he was doing. His eyes locked at Newt's lips while he talked, and without giving it a second thought Thomas shut Newt up by pressing their lips together. Newt didn't react at first, but then forcefully kissed back. It soon turned into a full on make out-session. 

When they broke apart, they were both panting and smiling.

**************

The rest of the days passed by quickly. Spending one night in the Maze with Minho, getting Stung, figuring out the code... Thomas could barely keep track on it. Almost all of the time Newt was by his side, and they kept doing small things like holding hands, and they spent the nights laying close to eachother.

The fight to get out of the Maze was stressful to Thomas, especially when he couldn't see Newt after going down the Griever Hole. He cursed in his head almost all the time. The relief he felt when Newt came down through the Hole was unimaginable. He flung his arms around Newt's neck and heard him whisper:  
"It's alright, Tommy. We made it. We're safe."

While walking through the corridor they never let go of eachother's hand. Newt was pressed against him all the time they talked to the woman from WICKED. Then Gally came into the room.

Thomas could see the knife flying through the air, but he couldn't move.

"TOMMY!" Newt shouted when he fell to the ground. He looked at his chest, and saw the knife sticking out from it. He hadn't felt the impact, but he could feel the life quickly escaping him. Newt was on his knees beside his head instantly. He had tears in his eyes. Thomas weakliy stretched his hand out and dried the first tear away.

"Keep them safe, Newt." he mumbled, and could see Newt nodding while holding his hand and crying.

"I love you, Tommy." he whispered, and Thomas tried to smile.

"I lo..." he didn't get to finish the sentence before the last ounce of live fled his body and everything went dark.


	15. Disturbia

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This song was actaully pretty hard to get a decent story for and that's why it's so short, but I hope you like it anyways ^^  
> As always, I would love to get suggestions for songs xx

Newt sat down, his temporary anger crumbling at the sight of an unconscious Tommy. He knew he wouldn't be able to get ev an ounce of sleep for a couple of hours, he didn't have to be completely sane to realize that. He saw Minho looking at him with a worried face. He slowly got to his feet again.

"I'll take Tommy, you grab his girlfriend. We should put them somewhere more comfortable. Then you can go get some sleep. I won't be able to sleep for a while anyways." he said and lifted Tommy up bridal-style. Minho nodded and did the same to Brenda. They found a room in the Berg with beds, where they put their friends. Minho raised an eyebrow at him.

"Go get some sleep, man. I'll watch over our sleeping beauties." Newt said, and Minho put his hand on Newt's shoulder briefly before leaving the room. Newt sat down on the floor and took Tommy's hand. He could feel the Flare itching on his brain, but tried to ignore it. He needed to stay sane to memorize this moment. 

He closed his eyes and matched his own breathing with Tommy's. It worked wonders and he soon felt back to normal again. He needed to stress less about things, or he would start chewing on his friends in no time. He looked up on Tommy.

Tommy was breating calmly with closed eyes, as if didn't just get bloody shot. Newt's heart hurt at the thought of it. Tommy would do anything to save his friends. He had gotten Stung on purpose to help them get out of the Maze, he had risked a night out in the Maze to save Minho and Alby, and now he had risked getting shot to save Brenda. And Newt knew he would have done it even if it were him or Minho. It hurt to know that Tommy would do anything to save him, and soon he would probably not care at all. He wondered if he had asked too much of Tommy this time. The boy had done everything already, and now he had asked him to kill one of his best friends. 

One more look at him, and Newt knew he would have to change the note. He felt in Tommy's pockets, and found it. He looked around the room, and found a pen. He even found some paper, so he decided to throw the old note away. He sat down on the floor, and tried to compose his thoughts enough to write something before he lost it.

 

 

**************

_The note._

Thomas pulled the envelope he got from Newt out of his pocket. He knew his friend were lost for good, and he couldn't think of a better time to read it. He opened it up, and found a long letter.

_"Hey, Tommy._  
_I'm doing some changes to the note. I'm sitting right next to you while I write this one. We just escaped WICKED. I'm so sorry about what's going to happen to me. Just don't bloody blame yourself for not being able to save me, cause I know you'll try. It's a disease without a cure, and you can't do anything about it. And I don't think WICKED can create a cure for it, so don't even thin about it. Whatever they need you to do for the bloody thing, it's not worth it. I'm also sorry about whatever I might say or do. Just know that it's not me (unless you think it sounds like me) and I don't mean it. I appreciate everything you've done for all of us, and if I say anything else it's a total lie. I bloody love you, Tommy. I should've said it to your face, but I guess it's easier to write in a letter that I know you won't read until I'm either dead or too crazed to care. How cruel life can be. I just wanted to let you know that. And now to my original note (if I'm not already dead): Kill me. If you've ever been my friend, kill me.  
Yours, Newt"_

Thomas realized he was crying when he put the note down. If only he had read the note earlier. At least he could have given Newt an explaination to why he hadn't done what he wanted, or he could have done it. Knowing why Newt had been so angry with him made it worse. The hurt and betrayal Newt must have felt. He had trusted Thomas with the letter, and not Minho, Jorge or Brenda. Him. And he had let him down. Thomas slid down against the wall with tears streaming down his cheeks and the letter clutched tightly.


	16. Just A Dream

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So yeah... I chose to interpret the song a bit diffrently for this one... and it's been hot here in Sweden lately and my writing/inspiration's been a bit off, so I am sorry about how short this is. Hope you like anyways ^^
> 
> Also, I'll be gone for like a week now, so It will be a while 'til the next update. And as always, you're welcome to suggest a song :)

Thomas was walking down the street with his head hanging. He felt like complete and utter shit. Newt had left him, and Thomas had just seen him in a coffee shop, on a date with Alby. Thomas couldn't sleep, couldn't even _think_ properly without Newt. He could still remember the feeling of Newt's hair, the lines of his face. Thomas sighed. He had really thought him and Newt would last. They had even been discussing wedding plans, for God's sake! But they had fought. Newt thought Thomas didn't care about their relationship anymore, and Thomas could see why. He hadn't really commited lately, but it was because his job had been so stressful and things were a bit rough with Minho.

He imagined he saw Newt every time he took a turn, and it was so frustrating. He missed Newt, he had been the love of his life. Newt was the only one Thomas wanted, and he hope he knew that. Thomas walked into a bar and ordered a drink. He tried to call Newt, but Newt didn't answer. He sighed and downed his drink. Newt was gone. It didn't matter how much Thomas loved him and wanted him back, Newt was _gone._

 

**************

Thomas shot straight up. He looked beside him, and sighed in relief when Newt was still laying beside him with his mouth open against the pillow, snoring and drooling a bit. Thomas fell down into the pillow again. His heart was still pounding from the dream. It had felt so _real._ He turned to his side and shook Newt lightly. The blond groaned and opened one eye.

"What'd ya want, Tommy?" he asked, his voice heavy with sleep. 

"Bad dream." Thomas answered, and Newt opened his second eye and scooted closer to Thomas, putting his arm around him in a sort of sleepy hug.

"About what?" he asked in a mild voice. Thomas nuzzled into the crook of Newt's neck.

"You, leaving me." he said, and Newt almost snorted.

"Ya know that ain't gonna happen." he said while stroking Thomas' hair. Thomas nodded.

"Yeah, I know. It just... felt so real. We had a fight because you felt like I didn't commit to our realtionship, and you left me and started to date Alby." at this, Newt actually huffed out a laugh.

"Alby? Of all people? Why him? If I left you, I would at least go for Minho." he said, and Thomas hit him lightly on the arm. Newt chuckled.

"You're ridiculous if you think I would ever leave you. Now go back to sleep." Newt muttered, and closed his eyes again, without letting go of Thomas. Thomas smiled and closed his eyes, too. Newt was soon back to snoring, and Thomas relaxed. It had only been just a dream.


	17. Boom Clap

Newt looked over at Thomas, who was helping Zart today. Thomas had managed to hurt his leg while running a while ago, so now he helped out in the Gardens while he waited for it to get better. Newt had been pining after Thomas for a while now, but he had decided to not act on it. This wasn't the right place, they were too busy. Maybe when they got out. For now he was happy watching Thomas from a distance and talking to him when he had the chance. Newt shook his head and turned back to his work. He couldn't let himself get distracted like that. _When we get out._

**************

Newt sat in his room in the Homestead and looked out. He couldn't sleep for some reason. Usually a day's worth of work made him fall asleep quite fast, but sometimes he had nights like this one. He saw some movement out of the corner of his eye and looked more closely. Apparently Thomas couldn't sleep either, as he was making his way towards the Deadheads. Newt got up. If neither of them could sleep he might as well join Thomas. They hadn't had the chance to talk much lately anyways since Thomas was back in the Maze. He followed him from and Thomas didn't notice. When Newt sat down next to him, Thomas looked surprised.

"Newt? Shouldn't you sleep or something?" he asked and Newt smirked.

"Couldn't. And you shouldn't say anything. Ya need to get up pretty early." he answered and Thomas nodded. When the brunette didn't say anything, Newt decided to break the silence.

"So, what's keepin' you up, Tommy?" he asked and Thomas shrugged.

"It's just... This shucking place, man. It's starting to feel sort of hopeless. I guess I'm just a bit down right now." Thomas replied, and surprised Newt. Thomas had been the only one to always seem hopeful. Not even Chuck was hopeful as frequently as Thomas. _I guess no one can be happy all the bloody time._ He if anyone knew very well how much a simple smile could hide.

"I know. For how long?" Newt asked, and Thomas was quiet for a while.

"Around a week after I became a Runner. After running for a couple of days I realized that the chances are pretty slim of getting out." he finally said, and Newt nodded. He couldn't say that that was unexpected.

"Well... I'm sure it won't be long until you and Minho figure something out. The two of you are bloody brilliant." he said, because he had made it a habit to always try to cheer other Gladers up, and he wanted Thomas to get some of his ridiculous amount of hope back. Thomas just snorted.

"Cut the crap, Newt. I bet you're even more down than me, you just won't let it show. You've been here since the beginning. That can't really work wonders on your mental health." he said, and Newt was a bit taken aback. He hadn't realized just how close he and Thomas had become. Thomas apparently took his lack of answer for confirmation. 

"I appreciate you trying to make me feel better, but it doesn't really work. I think Chuck is in more need of that. I feel so bad for him. He's just a kid, he shouldn't be close to this place!" Thomas said and put his head in his hands. Newt resisted the urge to put a hand on his shoulder.

"We're all bloody kids, Tommy. Non of us is an adult." he said instead and Thomas sighed. Not like he was annoyed, but more as if he was tired of everything and now Newt couldn't resist longer and he put a hand on Thomas' shoulder. Thomas didn't move away, so he didn't either.

"I know, it's just... We're all at least fifteen, but he can't be more than like twelve. He should be home with his parents and five friends and play outside all day, not working every day in a gigant maze with monsters. He's forced to grow up way too fast." Thomas said and Newt remembered that that was his exact thoughts when Chuck arrived. He squeezed Thomas' shoulder.

"I know. I couldn't agree more. But we can't do anything about it. And besides, he handles it way better than any kid his age would do." he said, and it was true. He knew for sure he wouldn't have managed as well as Chuckie if he was twelve.

"Yeah. I'll keep trying to find a way out for him. I don't want him to spend more time here than absolutely necessary." Thomas said, and Newt finally heard a bit of determination in his voice.

"Good that. Keep that motivation. Now you should get some sleep. You can't work properly if you're tired." Newt said and dragged Thomas up from the ground with him. Thomas let him push him back to the grounds outside the Homestead, where they said goodnight and Newt returned to his room. He fell asleep with the thought that at least Thomas wasn't going to do like him and that was the best he could wish for.

**************

Newt rested his head on the edge of the sofa. For the first time ever he could remember, he felt relaxed. The pizza had been good. Probably the best thing he'd ever eaten, no offense to Frypan. He felt Thomas' hand brush against his shoulders and his skin felt hot. He looked up at Thomas, and he remember a quote from something. Something about "my moon and stars" or something like that. He closed his eyes and listened to the chatter of the boys. He felt almost completely safe, and he let himself hope that everything was over now.

He was laying in bed. The other boys in the room had long since fallen asleep and he heard their soft snores. He couldn't get himself to relax enough. The images of Gally and Chuck from earlier the same day were still to bloody clear. Chuck didn't deserve that, and Gally was a shuckface, that much was true, but Newt knew that he had been forced by WICKED to do that. It had been almost exactly like when Alby had tried to strangle himself, and he had said afterwards that it was like something had controlled his body. Newt felt a tinge of sadness at the thought of Alby. A movement disturbed his thoughts and he saw Thomas sitting up in his bed.

"Can't sleep either, Tommy?" Newt whispered and Thomas' head jerked up.

"No. My brain won't shut down. Same goes for you I guess?" Thomas asked and Newt nodded.

"Yeah. Let's leave these shanks to sleep, shall we?" he asked and started to climb down from his bed. He opened the door to the room where they had been eating pizza before and waited for Thomas to walk past before he closed the door behind them. He joined Thomas on the sofa.

"How're ya holdin' up?" he asked and Thomas shrugged.

"Not good. I can't get the image of Chuck out of my head. He didn't deserve that. It should've been me." Thomas sighed, and Newt stiffened. Thomas didn't just say that. He _did not_ just say that.

"Don't you dare say that. Chuck didn't deserve it, but don't say that it should have been you. It shouldn't have been anyone of us." he said in a stern voice. He was not going to allow Thomas to think things like that. Thomas rubbed his forehead.

"I know. I just... The knife was aimed at me, and I'd rather it be me than him. He was too young. I feel so guilty." Thomas explained. Newt placed a comforting hand on his shoulder.

"It's not your fault. It's WICKED's. Don't blame yourself for it. You can't do anything about it, so you should try to honour his memory instead." he tried, and it actually got him a slight smile from Thomas.

"Yeah, you're right. Thanks, Newt. And not just for this, for everything you've done to help me." Thomas said ruffled Newt's hair. Newt smiled.

"Anything for you, Tommy." he said and made sure to make it sound like he was joking. Thomas didn't need to know how much he actually meant those words.

"You too." Thomas replied, and he sounded so sincere that Newt couldn't help staring at him. Thomas laughed.

"You look like I just told you the meaning of life or something." he said and Newt manage to collect himself enough to laugh.

"Yeah. Maybe you did." he said and this time didn't try to make it sound like a joke. He had promised himself that he could go for it once they were out of the Maze after all. Thomas simply looked at him with raised eyebrows and Newt shook his head with a smile. Then he looked Thomas in the eyes. He leant forward, but stopped himself when there was just about an inch between their lips, suddenly unsure. Maybe he had read the signs wrong. Maybe Thomas didn't actually feel the same way. Maybe Thomas wasn't even _interested_ in guys... He didn't get to think about it more because Thomas closed the last bit of distance between them himself. Newt was so shocked it actually took him a few seconds to react, but when he did it was everything he had dreamt of. Thomas tasted of pizza and toothpaste and his lips felt soft and warm against Newt's. 

When they broke apart Thomas gave him a shy smile.

"I guess the connection wasn't only in my head, then." he said and Newt returned the smile.

"You can bet your bloody butt it wasn't." he said and then he couldn't stop a yawn from escaping him. Thomas chuckled and stood up.

"Someone's tired. C'mon." he said and grabbed Newt by the wrist. When they got back to their room, Newt was prepared to go to his own bed, but that was apparently not Thomas' plan, as he didn't let go of Newt's wrist when he walked over to the bunk bed he shared with Minho. Newt crawled into Thomas' bed right after him, and when Thomas turned to face the wall he put an arm around the boy's waist and pressed his chest against Thomas' back. If they were going to share a bed they might as well spoon, and Newt was not going to let Thomas be the big spoon.

"G'night, Tommy." he mumbled into said boy's shoulder.

"Good night, Newt." Thomas replied and Newt smiled. Maybe he could finally start to enjoy life.


	18. One More Night

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Five times Thomas left after a fight, and one time he didn't.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wanted to do something a bit different than the rest of the chapters, and decided to go for the whole "five times **** ******* and one time he/she didn't" thing, and this song was perfect for that.   
> Enjoy! xx

1\.   
"I've told ya, you can't become a bloody Runner yet! You gotta prove yourself first!" Newt yelled. He was getting tired of Thomas nagging to become a Runner. He talked about it almost everytime they met, and now he had had enough.

"Why!?" Thomas shouted back and Newt had to stop himself from actually punch the boy before him in the face. _Bloody idiot._

"Because you haven't been here for a bloody week yet, Greenie! You haven't even tried the other jobs yet! And I've been here right from the beginning and we've _never_ let anyone become a Runner earlier than one month after they arrived!" he shouted and Thomas' face actually turned red from anger. 

"That's stupid! I don't see how I can prove that I'm good enough to be a Runner if I take care of vegetables all day!" Thomas shot back and Newt knew he had a point, but no way he was going to admit that now.

"It will show that you can take things seriously! The Maze is dangerous and you need to learn our system before we will let you out through those doors! You take one minute too long out there, and you're dead! You have to learn how things work here and to keep order before we let you risk your bloody life every day!" Newt shouted in one last attempt to make Thomas see reason. It seemed to work, because Thomas shut up.

"I've added your name to the list of potential trainees, and that will have to be enough for you right now." he said in a normal tone to try and make peace, but he could see that Thomas was still angry. 

"Fine." Thomas spat out and turned his back to Newt and walked away towards the Deadheads. Newt sighed and slumped down on the ground. He didn't know why he bothered trying to be friends with Thomas. The idiot didn't have any self-preservation instincts at all. But Thomas was so hopeful and curious that even Newt felt a bit better in his presence. Newt really didn't want to let Thomas into the Maze, because he had a horrible feeling that Thomas would manage to get stuck out there, and Newt was already too attached to him to risk that. But it didn't seem like he would be able to stop him, so the best he could do was to delay it for as long as possible. He sighed and got up. He had better things to do than sit here all day.

2.  
Newt was furious. Sure, he was happy that Thomas, Minho and Alby had made it out of the Maze, but he was still angry with Thomas for going into it in the first place. He knew the boy was stupid, but he never took him for suicidal! He heard a knock on his door, and when he looked up it was the skuckface himself. At least he had the decency to look a bit unsure.

"Newt..." he began, but Newt started to talk instead.

"I'm happy that you, Minho and Alby got out of that mess alive and I'm grateful that you got them out, but that doesn't mean that I'm gonna forgive you for running out in the bloody first place, when you've been warned! I never took you for suicidal, Thomas." he said, and he wasn't surprised when Thomas' expression quickly turned into anger. 

"I just survided a night in the Maze, and Alby wouldn't still be alive if it weren't for me so it would be nice if you could skip the yelling this time! I'm not gonna apologize for what I did." Thomas spat out, and riled Newt up even more.

"I know pretty bloody well that I have you to thank you for Alby's life, so you don't need to remind me how close one of my closest friends was to die! But don't you realize what you've done!? You've turned this whole place and our beliefs upside-down and you almost killed yourself!" he shouted back, and his voice was so loud at the end that he was sure they could hear every word he said outside the Homestead too. 

Thomas gave him a death-glare before leaving the room and slamming the door shut behind him. Newt sighed and hit his head against the wall. That had been completely unnecessary. He could at least have waited until Thomas had gotten some more rest, and there was probably better ways to show him that he cared about him and was worried sick during the night. He lay down on the bed and stared at the ceiling.

"Good job, Newt. Yell at one of your three friends when he saved the other two from a certain death and just survived a night in the Maze. That will for sure make him feel better." he muttered sarcasticlly to himself before turning on his side and falling asleep.

3.  
The next time they fought, it was actually Thomas who started it. They were eating together and Thomas was back early with Minho. Teresa was still in the Slammer and the food was quickly draining. They ate in silence and Newt guessed it was because Thomas was tired after running, but when he was done Thomas sat back with a bitter expression and looked at him. Newt got the feeling that Thomas wanted him to finish his food too, so he hurried a little bit extra. When he was done, Thomas immediatley stood up, and nodded to Newt to follow him. Newt did so, and they ended up in the corner where Thomas had chosen to sleep before the Ending or whatever. He leaned against a tree.

"What's on your mind, Tommy?" he tried peacefully, but Thomas' expression told him that he wasn't feeling very friendly right now.

"Why can't you trust Teresa?" Thomas asked quietly, and Newt sighed. Of course it was about the bloody girl.

"We've already been over this. She admitted that she started something, and therefore we can't let her run 'round this place as she likes. And it doesn't matter if it wasn't she did it by her own free will. That actually makes it more important to lock her up, because who knows what can happen if the Creators can control her?" he said. He was a bit annoyed, but not angry just yet and too tired to even try to raise his voice.

"Why can't you just let her out and then let someone keep an eye on her? I had a hard time coping with one _day_ in there, and I can't imagine she feels much better." Thomas muttered. Newt hit the back of his head against the tree.

"Listen, Tommy. We can't have people wasting time watchin' her. We need everyone at work full-time to survive this gigant pile of klunk. She's safer than the rest of us in there anyways." he sighed in returned and he could pin point the moment when Thomas snapped.

"She feels bad when she's in there! and if we need everyone, why not let her help!? If you don't want her to do anything that could endanger the rest of you she could help Fry in the kitchen! But sure, if you're all so against her I'll leave it." Thomas shouted before storming off. Newt couldn't even bring himself to be annoyed by Thomas' stupidity. He just felt tired and drained. He sighed and slowly made his way back. He hated all this fighting with Thomas. He just wanted them to make peace, but it didn't look like that was going to happen.

4.  
Thomas was plain stupid, Newt was sure. He knew why Thomas had done it, he had even considered it himself, but doing it randomly without telling anyone was idiocy. At least Thomas had woken up a few hours ago. He watched him from a distance. Thomas was talking to Chuck while Newt tried to take care of the last vegetables and fruits. Since Zart died it had fallen on him to take care of the Track-Hoes. Apparently Thomas could sense him watching, as he turned around. Newt decided that he might as well grab Thomas now and get the coming fight out of the way. He knew he would start yelling at Thomas the first cahnce he got. He grabbed one of the boys and told him to take charge while he was away. The boy nodded and Newt walked over to Thomas. Apparently his face gave him away, because Thomas told Chuck to leave them alone and then looked at Newt.

"And what on earth could it be that's making your heart heavier?" Thomas asked sarcastically. It felt like someone stabbed Newt in the heart. Were they really that close to stop being friends? And then the anger took over again.

"That you're a bloody idiot! I understand why you did it, but it was stupid to just do it randomly without talleing anyone!" he yelled and Thomas stood up, trying to even them out a little bit.

"So now I have to tell you everytime I do something!?" he shouted back, and Newt felt a vein appearing in his forehead.

"YES! At least when it's something that could result in you dying, you shank!" he shouted, and got the attention of a few Gladers.

"As if the danger would lessen if I told you I was going to jump at the Grievers to get stung!" Thomas shouted back, a bit of spit flying. Newt was opening his mouth to yell something more, but Thomas stopped him.

"No! Don't you dare say anything else! I'm so tired of you yelling at me everytime I do something!" he shouted and then ran off into the Deadheads. Newt's head was spinning with emotions. The anger was still dominant, even though it lessened with every seconds. He knew he was being hard on Thomas, but it was only because he cared about him. He could probably make a better job at making that show, but still. He sat down on the spot where Chuck had been sitting before. He knew he was close to losing Thomas, and he promised himself that he would soon tell him the reason for all the yelling. Soon.

5.  
"You are not going to sacrifice yourself!" Newt shouted. His promise to explain to Thomas was forgotten right now. How could he even _suggest_ that they sacrifice him!?

"Why not!? It's my fault that we're stuck here in the first place, and isn't it worth it if no one else dies!?" Thoas yelled back. It felt like someone punched Newt in the gut. Thomas only wanted to do it because he thought he deserved it for working with the Creators.

"It's not your bloody fault! You were forced to help them! You're the best we've got and we need you to write the code in! I don't want to hear another word about it! Don't you bloody dare argue! I won't let you do something that stupid!" Newt shouted and stepped closer to Thomas to show that he meant it. Thomas threw his hands up in the air.

"FINE!" he shouted on the top of his lungs and stormed off towards Teresa. Newt massaged his temples. He was sure if they fought one more time, he would completely loose Thomas. He promised himself to not fight more with Thomas, at least not until after he'd explained himself. _If I get the chance._

6.  
Newt heard the other boys snoring, but he couldn't sleep. Too much had happened today. Alby, Chuck... Gally. Today must have been one of the worst days ever. He heard someone get up from their bed, and seconds later Thomas was by his side.

"Can we talk?" the boy whispered, and Newt sat up and rubbed his eyes.

"We better get outside this room. We can't seem to talk anymore without fighting, and I don't want to wake them up." he whispered and Thomas nodded. They quietly walked over to the door and entered the common area where they had eaten pizza. Thomas went straight for the sofa and Newt sat down next to him. Thomas stared at the wall on the opposite side of the room.

"Why are you always yelling at me? Do you really hate me that much?" he asked quietly and Newt's heart twisted. Thomas really thought he hated him?

"I don't hate you, it's not that..." he began, but a fire lit up in Thomas' eyes and he turned to face Newt.

"Then what is it? Why are you always angry with me?" he asked, and Newt could hear small traces of anger and frustration in his voice. He rupped his temples before looking Thomas in the eyes.

"I don't want to fight anymore, Tommy, so just hear me out, alright? I far from hate you. I just get angry because I care about you. Almost every day you do stuff that almost gets you killed, and I worry about you constantly. I get angry because you keep risking your life, and I'm not sure how I would handle losing you. You saw how I reacted when Alby sacrificed himself, and I could only restrain myself because there was so much at stake." he said, and while he talked Thomas' features softened gradually. He even gave a slight smile.

"Why not simply say that?" he asked and Newt shook his head.

"I don't know." he answered and Thomas smiled again.

"Okay." he nodded. They sat in silence for a while, and Newt relaxed. He felt everything catch up with him and was too tired to care that he just put his head on Thomas' shoulder. He noticed when Thomas rested his head against Newt's, but didn't really react to it. He was just about to fall asleep when Thomas spoke again.

"C'mon. We should go back to bed." Newt nodded tiredly and followed Thomas when he grabbed his wrist and dragged him with him. He ended up in Thomas bed, and that he actually reacted a bit to. He could feel his heart racing, but didn't get back to his own bed. Thomas put and arm around hi waist and Newt could feel his hot breath on the back of his neck. He relaxed and it took him less than a minute to fall asleep.


End file.
